|
Post by musicman on May 2, 2006 22:46:32 GMT -5
Hey guys. I've come to realize that my depression is because I can't talk about how I want to play music to my teachers. They want to do things their way and won't listen to anybody else's view. Of course they're the teacher and I'm the student so they think they know more than me, and in some aspects they do, but they fail to realize the effortlessness that can be achieved through the letting go of all of their subconscious thoughts. The way I believe music is best played is through memorizing body motion. Being so still, that you memorize your bodies movements and rely on intuition rather than practice, practice, practice. You HAVE TO BE STILL to use intuition when playing a string instrument. You have to know where you are, on that intuitive string. You have to watch so closely when you get higher because pitches get closer together the higher you go. I try to talk to my professor about his unawarenesses, but he literally tells me to shut up. He is such a zealot to his own way of thinking, he slams the door on students that don't cooperate with him, and gets so mad. He is truly a material and practical thinker. The only thing he helps me with honestly is when I play a wrong note. He keeps me strict on that, which I suppose is a good thing. He always changes his theory about his image about me right to my face. One week he thinks one thing of me, the next week he says something different. He has no solid image of me and he says he can read people. I think all of his problems are related to stress. The music business is a tough business, especially when you're good. The fame and money gets to you. I started playing violin because I liked the intuition associated with it, and the feeling of the notes. The freedom of restriction the instrument has to offer. I'm getting more and more convinced that I'll either be a thorn in the music business's side in the future or eventually just give up playing. If business is what runs everything, including music, I'm gonna cry. I'll be so depressed.
|
|
|
Post by Shaelyn on May 3, 2006 0:56:36 GMT -5
I wish I could tell you it gets easier, that not everyone is like your professor. you aren't the only musician, that technique or "the business" has ruined their love of music. As a singer, I'm struggling with all the useless info...music theory and beginning piano are KILLING ME! I already know how to play piano well enough to be tested out of the class (as I should have), and I don't think I'm going to need to know the different names for the different ways to end a piece - all the different cadences. UGH! It's bloody annoying...as embarrassed as I have been to say it, I've basically skipped out of those two classes. But...if you stick through it, BE a thorn in the music business's side! and shove it in as far as you can! the music business needs to change, it's totally unreasonable right now. we can start a change. something else to think about too, going back to your professor...a lot of musicians become teachers because they give up. he may have a lot of inner resentment from giving up, he may already have a lot of feelings of inadequacy...and if you're telling him a better way to be a musician, he may take out that resentment on you. ~hugs~ there are better professors out there...you have to find one that's right for you. it is possible, although not easy.
|
|
|
Post by Kivawolfspeaker on May 3, 2006 4:01:53 GMT -5
Yes, Nathan. Be that thorn in the music bussiness' side! I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a thorn in formal education's side, but that is because I want to change it.
Also, I've heard that a lot of professors in UW-Stevens Point's music dept. are the same way. It's their way or the high way. I'm not a music major, but a good friend of mine is and he is really sick of it and glad to be graduating in December.
Hugs, Jen
|
|
|
Post by musicman on May 4, 2006 18:18:17 GMT -5
I've been thinking lately that I want to give up working on changing the musician making system from the inside, my current state of living, and attack it from the outside, in a non-affiliated sort of way. The way I think is that if people like something, they will want to be around it, be drawn to it, and ultimately accept it into their life. I know if it moves me, brings tears to my eyes, or makes me say "YES!!" I really like that particular thing. I feel I could accomplish this better if I were not learning somebody else's methods. If I were to stay honest with myself, I could produce purely imaginable musical scores, based on my connected thoughts and the feelings they give me. Thus, the music should make logical sense and and be connected in that way.
Connection does not have to be based on a purely affirmative lifestyle. A person could be completely paranoid and have many good reasons why he feels that way, or leads that bring him to his conclusions. My desire is to base music on connectedness so that people can wake up out of their old thought patterns. How else could one person express the progression of his/her thoughts? In order to do this, I have got to start living for me, and not be so concerned about what others think. Logic comes out of that too though, and I have gained a lot from my parents ways of raising me. I would probably never use any of that in my music though... ugh.
I just want to tell it the best I see it. I guess I'm a perfectionist in the sense that I want to already have it known in my thoughts before I write it down. I guess I feel like I'm not worthy, otherwise I'd be already doing it. It takes a lot of meditation and thinking out the answers to the questions I have. I just need to sit down, and do it. There's too much that's expected of me in the day, with school and other stuff. I'm thinking about joining a monastery. Taking off of school and joining a monastery to see how it's like. Preferably a Tao affiliated one, if such a place exists.
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 4, 2006 20:08:12 GMT -5
Nathan, I know how you feel... well, not about joining the monastery, but about teachers trying to force their way of playing upon you and making you learn all these things that you don't find important (@ Shaelyn: ha, cadences... as soon as I stopped using them for theory exams, I forgot them - consciously at least!). While lessons for me were a good thing (my teacher and I got along well enough, and I needed the guidance) I used to get quite frustrated when I'd interpret the music in a certain way and I'd be told to stop doing *such and such* because it was wrong. Okay, so maybe it isn't how the music's written down, but I was never going to be a professional or make recordings or whatever, so why shouldn't I play it in a way that speaks more to me?
Now that I've finished lessons I feel a lot freer to do my own thing... but writing takes so much self-confidence and I'm such a perfectionist that I don't get very far. Eventually I'd love my own band but that won't happen for a long time. Being a thorn in the music industry (and other closed-minded people affilitated with it, however indirectly) is something I've aimed to be for as long as I was aware of its existence... so it's nice to see that I'm not the only one ^-^
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 4:58:08 GMT -5
Man thats sucks so much. I know what its like to have an authority figure lord it over you, especially one that is rather aggressive. Its like, so spirit crushing-inspiration-robbingly draining!
I was living with jazz musician for a year not long ago. He used to tell me heaps of interesting things about his experience in the music industry. He was saying that, just like your teacher, there were jazz "purists" who were so uptight and pig headed in their ways, that it made it hard for anyone else doing anything different. Their sound was distinctly different (they would never introduce electronic influence to their music), and they were proud of that, but they didnt want to listen to anyone elses sound if it had say, some electronic samples or loops. They wouldnt have a bar of it, it had to be purely organic, they wouldnt listen or talk to anyone else.
Furthermore there were even another class of musicians, the classical musicians and they were even dustier. They played classical instruments obviously like violin, celo etc and follow the very strictest of musical law. Often the music they produced required such intense skill that it may take someone 20 years before they could play a certain song. It got to the level that they weren't doing it for the music itself, but moreso just to try and see how hard they could make it for themselves, kinda losing the plot of why music is enjoyed in the first place.
I think that if you end up leaving your professor for whatever reason, there is a way you can influence the industry the way you want to from a slightly different perspective as you were saying before. That would be cool.
I thought of joining a monastery aswell, but I didnt end up doing that. I think at that time the one near my place was full. I am not sure how long I would be able to last there, but I think it would be kinda like going overseas, really refreshing.
*scratching head*
|
|
|
Post by musicman on May 6, 2006 15:32:10 GMT -5
About the monastery thing, I was looking some up on the web and found a free one in England that runs off of donations. I don't know the shape that it's in currently, but it can't be as good as the ones that you have to pay like $500 for so many months. Anyway, this summer should give me some time to think about it.
Looking into all of this stuff for myself has really let me in on thoughts and ideas about myself. I feel I'm becoming more and more knowledgable of how to relax and let go. I've been working on some tensities in my body that need to be let go of so they can rejuvenate and so I can become one with them again. Sometimes I feel like I say things to teach myself. I'm just glad I can post on an important forum. Kind of like affirming my thoughts and making them more concrete.
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 20:45:03 GMT -5
I hope your sores heal my friend I sure need to relax a bit more too.
|
|