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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Jul 24, 2005 14:03:56 GMT -5
If you're not way empathic maybe you don't get this, but I just have to say - when you're talking to a person about anything, don't you hate it when they start disbelieving you or not taking you seriously? For me, I can feel it in my gut the moment I say something that bothers them or that they don't agree with - or that gives them any sort of emotional reaction. It REALLY erks me because there's nothing I can do... I mean, I'm sure saying "Ah, you're doubting me, I can feel it!" would probably just weird them out and not help the situation, lol.
I also hate it when people deny their own actions... it's like hello... I can feel that you're lying to me... please just fess up and admit that you weren't listening.
On a brighter observation, I love going to any kind of a ball game or sporting event because the excitement of all the crowds carries me away. I don't personally like sports, but when you're sitting in a stadium and everyone around you is full of excitement and adrenaline... well, things can get pretty hyped up, lol.
Anyone else agree?
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Post by indigophoenix on Jul 26, 2005 5:29:28 GMT -5
LOL....this is too true. For me, it's the worst with my roommate. He's a habitual liar, and it's gotten to the point where I can feel if he's gonna lie before he even opens his mouth. And I'll confront him about it but he'll still deny it! *shakes his head*
But what I really hate are funerals. It's like I absorb the sad energy like I'm a gaint sponge. Dang near tears me apart inside...man do I hate funerals.
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Post by Uriah on Jul 26, 2005 9:46:49 GMT -5
don't you hate it when they start disbelieving you or not taking you seriously? For me, I can feel it in my gut the moment I say something that bothers them or that they don't agree with - or that gives them any sort of emotional reaction. I know what you mean. When it happens to me I can feel that they don't believe me and then they get uncomfortable and usually stop listening shortly thereafter. It really frustrtates me, I mean they don't have to change all of there views and beliefs just because I said something but can't they remain open to the possibility or accept that as my view or belief and leave it at that without any judgement? They close themselves of and try to keep themselves separate, ha if they only knew They live in a box whereas I live in the universe...
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Post by ne ws oci e ty on Jul 26, 2005 16:44:10 GMT -5
yeah, this is definately something I experience. For as long as I can remember, I can "feel" lies, ego, closed-mindedness...it's annoying because that seems to be the majority of what I encounter.
The situation is also usual that people don't realize their own ego and closedmindedness, and you pick it up in a few seconds...and they just think you're crazy because they don't even know themselves.
Also, is it a safe assumption that ego and closedmindedness are directly connected? That's definately how it seems to me.
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Post by indigophoenix on Jul 27, 2005 0:23:50 GMT -5
It's definately a very difficult power to deal with at times. Sometimes I feel like I'm understanding a person's emotions even better than they are themselves. I wish everyone had this ability, the world would be such a better place. Also, is it a safe assumption that ego and closedmindedness are directly connected? That's definately how it seems to me. That's a good point. I believe this is true as well. I think ego stems from having a closed mind. If everyone TRULY understood everybody else, I don't think feelings of superiority would exist.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Jul 27, 2005 9:58:12 GMT -5
IndigoPheonix:
Yeah, funerals suck, I remember when my mom died that entire day I felt like an empty cloud of gray nothingness... if that makes any sense. I wasn't so empathic then because I hadn't shifted to crystal, but my own depression added to everyone else's literally made everything go numb. It was horrible!
Also, I hate just being sad in general... when my feelings get badly hurt, I find myself without energy nor appetite and just completely depressed. After a while I've learned to snap myself out of this, but especially with relationship issues sometimes my appetite will go away for a week. (This makes dieting easier, lol!)
OOOooo man, how about the nervousness of people about to go on a rollercoaster or somewhere scary? Or in speech class when everyone is having an anxiety attack? It's SOOO hard for me to block out nervousness and anxiety! I remember when I was young (like 11) I'd never get nervous, but now before doing intimidating stuff I get REALLY nervous and I finally figured out is had a lot to do with my empathy, haha! Of course, sometimes I'm just nervous... heh. =)
NewSociety:
Yeah, I agree with that statement about the ego and the consciousness. It sounds really accurate to me.
The weird thing is that if we accept our ego and reassure that it will be loved by our higher self, rather than supressing it and trying to force it down, it's a lot easier to deal with. To me it's kinda like a tug-o-war battle - the higher self wants to be remembered but the ego doesn't want to be forgotten. So if we love our ego as we love ourselves, that kinda bridges the gap, no?
Just my thoughts. =)
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Post by indigophoenix on Jul 30, 2005 3:04:56 GMT -5
Yeah, empathy is probably my strongest ability but it is also one that I don't have much control over. And it's always been active in me as far as I can remember which made school a struggle for me at times as well.
Another thing is that since empathy works both ways, it's like we gotta try that much harder to keep positive to avoid bringing others down with us. So I've tried to teach myself to look at any negative situation in a positve light. It's amazing how powerful thought is, and it's amazing how much negative energy is created by negative thinking.
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maya
Awakened
Posts: 39
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Post by maya on Aug 9, 2005 16:56:12 GMT -5
The Indigo Phoenix- you wrote, you hate funerals.... well, I was only at one funeral so far, (it wasn't mine), and I was just surprised, to feel the sadness, and sorrow of the mother.... maybe it sound strange, but I was actually happy for the person who died...... I read the books Conversation with God 1-2-3., and there was a comment from God, that if people would really know where the loved ones are, the rather celebrate than cry. It just opened my eyes, and realised how true it is.....weeks later, after my initiation into White Magic, occured to my, that I saw the dead one sitting on his grave and smiling. well, that was enough for a life not to cry, when someone dies.
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Post by Shaelyn on Aug 9, 2005 22:52:39 GMT -5
pppppppppppppp lol...I've always known if people disbelieved or were uncomfortable with what I was saying...but I've always thought that was something everyone was capable of, I guess. I should've known that was connected to empathy.
...I actually hate sports events...that's one of the times I go on sensory overload, I guess.
However, movie theaters are fun...I went to this scary movie fairly recently...and this guy's hand was about to jump out and scare everyone...I knew it...so I wasn't scared of that...but when it happened, not only did the whole row of people jump, but I could seriously feel the fear radiating off the woman sitting next to me. WOW. That made me jump a mile, LOL...I've never had that happen before. I've felt love that strong, but never fear like that.
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Post by jeremy on Sept 3, 2005 1:36:02 GMT -5
Well sometimes I seem to be strong in empathy and sometimes not: like I nearly always know when people lie to me but I don't often feel the same as other people. I actually like most funerals even though I get torn up by the empathy, really hard to explain but true. The strongest love I've ever felt was when I was alone, and I suddenly felt love coming at me from everywhere. That was so intense I had to sit down to save myself from passing out.
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Post by indigirl on Sept 3, 2005 3:14:37 GMT -5
CM, I definitely feel how frustrating it is to know that someone is disbelieving you, or that they are frustrated or unhappy themselves but refuse to say why.
I've pretty much learned to control my empathy in places like the mall or on the bus, because it used to be total emotional overload. But I find that sometimes being alone in room with someone who is hurting emotionally is almost worse. I have a memory of it involving my mother when I was about 8 years old, and it's still heart wrenching to recall the feeling I had back then. And there was another time when I went with one of my best friends while he was getting a large tattoo across his shoulders, and he was in so much pain and I couldn't stand to see him hurt, so I held his hand and it was like the pain thinned out for him because we were feeling it together now. Even though it was not a pleasant feeling, it was an amazing experience.
I am definitely grateful to be empathic though. There are times when I'm with my best friend, just being together, knowing how we care for each other, and I'm filled with such a golden joy I feel I might burst. It's definitely a wonderful gift.
*love and light all*
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Post by nimue on Sept 8, 2005 15:27:27 GMT -5
I have extremely powerful empathy (close range, mostly) and this makes it difficult for me to cope with crowds, even small ones. Being aroung bpeople, mostly close-mindied people can drive me insane, and I will become moddy and withdrawn. I have no direct control over my empathy.
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Post by shepardess on Sept 8, 2005 18:24:12 GMT -5
I absoultly know what you are all talking about. I used to really cherish this ability and hone it but The thing is though the older I get the more I almost wish I didn't have such an intence ability to do it. I guess what the trick really is though is learning to control it which is not a easy task. Sometimes I think it interferes with my ability to just "be." I find myself second guessing what I am saying and justifing myself when I start to sence disbelief or dissent. And then after such encounters I find myself wanting to retreat inward so that I don't have to experience this again. I have also found that it makes other people extemely ill at ease when they can sence that I am understanding more of them then they feel comfortable sharing and that too is also a hinderence to communication. As I've said before , there is so much more for me to learn so that I will be able to communicate and live peacefully in this world. At twenty-six I am seeing more clearly than ever that really a person never stops learning, life is always offering "new experiences for growth" even when you are exhausted and just rest for awhile. I suppose the alternative is much worse though, if I am not learning I guess I am just stagnating.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Sept 9, 2005 12:36:50 GMT -5
Shepardess:
My father is 62 and one of the most adult of adult people I've ever met, but he knows nothing of God or spirituality or even a lot of what science is now saying about psychic phenomena. He still struggles to understand his own daughter, lol. I think this right there is testimony that no matter how far you think you've advanced down the road nor how much you think you've learned, there's always something more. I'm sure my dad thought he had it all down until I was born, lol, and I'm sure when you have kids it'll hit you with so many new lessons that you'll feel just like a 10-year-old again struggling to adapt to life. ^_^ Even in the static times during our lives when not much is happening and we don't think we're learning, we're actualling learning a whole lot, this is the time that our souls and our consciousness both reflect on our experiences and gather as much knowledge from them as possible to better prepare us for the next shocking experience.
So in essence - yes, you're absolutely right, we never stop learning! Isn't it wonderful and freeing to realize that there i no end, which means therefore there is no race?
What you said about this kind of empathy at times interfering with just being able to flow and be yourself really struck a chord with me because I often feel the same way! I think it's one of the things that makes it so hard for me to be completely comfortable around people and make friends easily - because I can always sense a shadow of their thoughts and at times the whole damn thing, and I don't always like what I get. Of course I'm still workingon seperating the ego from my higher self, but for the most part my intuition has proven to be true and it only makes humanitarian positions harder to maintain.
I think the way to control empathy is not by supressing it persay, but rather learning to accept everyone and not let their doubts have an affect on you, you know? Easier said that done, lol. ^_^
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Post by radaeron on Sept 26, 2005 16:44:00 GMT -5
Empathy is also a problem and benefit to me too. It could be the root source of me trying (not as much now, it's often automatic) to have a sunny disposition and positive outlook. Close mindedness is something I abhor entirely too. It seems to couple easy with people not bothering to listen to a point. I remember trying to explain my point to someone who -continually- (in the very literal meaning) talked over me. While I was trying to make my point he said "Okay then, okay then.. what is your point?" And at that point I felt very cynical about it. Basically said (Or tried to, he interrupted me again, so I just thought it in my head) "If you're not going to listen the first time its clear you don't really care what my opinion is" The hard thing about it was I could see his point of view entirely. And I just wanted to share mine to try and give him another outlook. When you can take in others' opinions and not give your own it is very hard, at least I find it is I am, like others here, grateful for my empathy though. Even if I can see the bad in people I can see the good too. Like the above example. He was very strong in defending his argument. Too strong I think, but it shows he won't back down easily ^^; In a lot of cases though it does leave me cynical about a lot. It could simply be because I don't entirely understand all emotions that well. Or have not had a significant enough impact about them. I remember going to an old school friend's funeral several months ago (I'm sorry to bring up this topic if it is upsetting to anyone. But this seems an important point for me to make). There were a lot of people waiting outside the church. It was a calm cool and breezy day. Looking around I saw some faces I knew, others I didn't. But they all seemed so... balanced. Like they weren't overcome with grief or sadness, nor happiness. They didn't appear to have any emotion about them. As soon as a song came on (And I can understand some songs are powerful on certain people) at least a dozen young ladies started crying. The thing that impacted me most was that the mother of the poor girl actually had the strength to go up and read out what she had written. And that her sisters could actually read out a poem! When I saw that strength, even though I could clearly see their pain (Which did swell up remorse and loss inside me), I felt entirely cynical about the people who I heard crying as we moved in. It did appear as though they flicked a switch and instantly started. I don't know... Am I too cynical about it? Part of me thinks I am spot on. Part of me thinks I simply couldn't connect emotionally. Hmm. Well.. You will all likely have an update in the coming weeks...
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Post by djgirlcherise on Sept 26, 2005 20:57:53 GMT -5
Hey Rad,
People are moved by the intensity of music because as you said it's a trigger for a chemical reaction that tells the brain to cry, dance, meditate, remember, or whatever. This chemical reaction mostly forces the body to obey. It's an example of metaphysics and the individual power to break the chain of emotional addiction. The women who spoke moved past any emotional inclinations to give into the situation. Bravo, to them. They would be great mentors in your life.
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Post by ladyarchimeades on Oct 9, 2005 2:45:59 GMT -5
Hello all,
You all have such valid, educating points that it would take a life time to address them all. Being new here I still feel on guard as I don't know what kind of reactions I will draw from my beliefs and opinions, but I'm finding there are a lot of intelligent and compasionate people here unlike some of the other sites I've come across where the people were so called "enlightened" and "spiritually developed", so I can let my hair down and share without confrontation. Ego what is it? Is it a pride thing, a vanity thing, is ego derived from satus or wealth, is it taught or something one learns as they age? Ego is all these things and more. We all have bondaries, whether we are kids or adults we all have bondaries and part of those bondaries are rooted in our connection to the things we care about, believe in, support and take a stand on. Ego is the sum of our being in the sense that it is all that we know or think we know!? Respecting bondaries can be a difficult thing, as we want to be heard and we want others to understand our point whether it is valid or not irregardless we all want to be understood and/or accepted. Many times taking a stand on our beliefs i.e. trying to get someone to see our p.o.v., show our intelligence, forcing understanding (though we may think we are not forcing), stating our opinion, whatever, we are flexing that ego muscle, and in turn if it draws a negative response from the person they are flexing their ego muscle as we, or you, or I is crossing the line, infringing upon their bondaries (sometimes), or as the person or people we are communicating with is perceiving an attack upon the sum of their being/beliefs, etc. I find the two biggest topics that draw this response are Religion and Politics, I have seen fist fights break out due to discussions on these topics. We are all emotional creatures and so are the people we interact with, we may be spiritually developed and intelligent, but dealing with emotion(s) (especially our own) is a touchy subject for anyone. I know, I felt I had turned off my own emotions, I tried to be a robot like many people one sees in society today, emotionless and senseless, but it was wrong and lead to an emotional disaster for me! I find it rather difficult to deal with people who have a closed mind (that ego thing again) and who only see what is two inches in front of their nose let alone to conceive an intelligent concept I may be trying to point out! If you are empathic you understand this all to well. You can sense it the moment you've crossed the line (bondary), their respiration goes up, the body tempeture rises, the blood pressure goes up, they are experiencing an emotion (possibly a negative one) just because of something you've said and they didn't want too accept it! We sometimes need to learn to understand not just the other persons emotional state, but our own when in such a situation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, we can be as positive, loving and compassionate as any Saint, but it just doesn't work. It's like this 'unconditional love thing', it will never exist as long as status, wealth, pride, vanity exist! As long as these things are out there it will never blossom into the beautiful thing it really is. Perhaps I am being a bit of a pessamist there, but I firmly believe all the wealth, all the things it brings need to go along with the whole political system. We need a new approach, something fresh, something based on (understanding, compassion, acceptance and love). It's like being used, how any of you have been used? Now how many of you have realized that you were being used and one point further knew the user knew you knew? I have a particular person in my life I don't know what to do about this person, they say they are my best friend, but they lie to me and use me rather extensively. I have pointed the error of their ways to them, I have been rational about it, I have been analytical about it, I have tried compassion and love, all to no avail!! I think there is somekind of lesson that needs to be learned and somekind of past life thingy that is related to this life, but I'm begining to believe that this may be false, that I can't trust my own judgement in regards to this situation and that my eyes may have been clouded by my own lack of understanding to this situation. The reason why I bring this up is that irregardless to all that I've said about that, it is an experiment in the realm of 'unconditional love' and that as long as we put conditions on the connections we have with people it will always fail!? (That's just what I believe).
As far as funerals, (sorry). I lost my dad in 2002 from emphusema and my brother in 2004 from scirosis of the liver. Initially I didn't feel anything when my dad died, then I had to contain myself as I felt joy, knowing that he was in a better place and that I would see him again someday. My family thought that was kind of demented and that the only thing I was looking forward to was my inheritance. But it came crashing down on me soon enough and I balled my head off for about a month, because I missed his input, his knowledge and support, most of all his love!! As far as my brother goes I didn't even attend his funeral, he was a very bad individual, confrontational, close minded and had an ego the size of Mount Everest! But even though he was all that, I realize that I do miss him even though he was so mean to me, because he was another person that maybe I could have learned something from, learned to understand his p.o.v. and accept unconditionally! Maybe we can all learn a leson there? Well not to ramble or be redundant I'll leave it at that. These are just my beliefs and I would really appreciate hearing yours on all this!?
Welcome to School House Earth, do you know your carriculum?
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Oct 9, 2005 21:12:24 GMT -5
I agree with you on that whole "wealth and status" getting in the way bit, but it's funny because some people confuse unconditional love with unconditional like (not saying you're doing this) and think that in order to unconditionally love, one must like everyone. To me, this is the most unhealthiest thing to do in the world - it is more important to be truthful and honest to yourself and to love yourself enough to push those bad people out of your life, than to force yourself to be everyone's friend even when you honestly don't like them. I wish the best for everyone, I feel sorry for people no matter who they are when they go through hard times, and I won't withhold my assistence from anyone who needs it. But does that mean I have to like them? No.
As for your "Best friend" perhaps it would be healthier to let go? I don't know the situation very well, but all the great spiritual teachers always said to respect/love yourself and not force yourself to be around people who treat you badly, just because you feel like perhaps you owe them or maybe you are attached to them. I don't know, it's just a thought.
Something I have learned on my spiritual path is that everyone is exactly where they need to be - I do not offer spiritual guidance unless I am asked, and if I am in that kind of a debate or conversation I tend to listen more than I speak, and only share my opinion when I've decided that the person is ready to hear it. It is not wrong for a person to reject another's opinions or ideas even if it shows they are blind and dogmatic, but it IS wrong to try to force someone to agree with you or understand where you're coming from. People want respect; we cannot expect them to listen to new ideas if their ideas are not taken equally seriously. And not everyone wants to open their mind and learn, not everyone needs that in their life, people need to find these things on their own and then seek teachers, not have teachers seek them.
Hehe, it's never good to draw ultimatums, I know many wealthy, prideful, and vain people who somehow also manage to be extremely caring and humanitarian. It is an individual soul's responsibility to overcome these obstacles themselves, and they'll all get there some day, but for now we must remember that we were once like them too in our past lives and without experiencing it, there can be no overcoming it. It's funny, because I used to think so much about how to make the world a perfect place, but I now realize that if the world was perfect, what would be the point of coming here? There would be nothing to learn. =)
Just some of my thoughts.
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Post by ladyarchimeades on Oct 10, 2005 0:01:08 GMT -5
"I agree with you on that whole "wealth and status" getting in the way bit, but it's funny because some people confuse unconditional love with unconditional like (not saying you're doing this) and think that in order to unconditionally love, one must like everyone"...(But don't you think that is impossible, it's like if Hitler or someone equally diabolical, were alive, how could you like someone like that, let alone love them unconditionally? I just get very sick and fed up with some of the stupid things I see the rich or affluent do like when Madonna and Britney Spears did that whole necklace deal, it just makes me wanna puke!? I acknoledge that there are many wealthy people out there doing humanitarian things, but its almost a kind of to little to late thing!? I feel that they ask to much of the little guy and not enough of their own!? The same goes for our country, they spend billions doing for others in other countries and didly for our own, good god, when are the people going to wake up?? Its not "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country", but "I'll do for my country after you do for me, because I'm doing to much already"!!)
"To me, this is the most unhealthiest thing to do in the world - it is more important to be truthful and honest to yourself and to love yourself enough to push those bad people out of your life, than to force yourself to be everyone's friend even when you honestly don't like them."...(I agree, you have a valid point there).
"As for your "Best friend" perhaps it would be healthier to let go? I don't know the situation very well, but all the great spiritual teachers always said to respect/love yourself and not force yourself to be around people who treat you badly, just because you feel like perhaps you owe them or maybe you are attached to them. I don't know, it's just a thought."...(It is a difficult matter, we have been friends for (15) years. I keep thinking that maybe one day things will change, but I often wonder if I'm not wasting my time? I have been told that I'm just to nice for my own good, to kind and sincere, but I think my biggest problem is that I'm just not assertive enough and I let people use me!?*frown* I admit that I am afraid of the consequences and even more afraid of confrontation and disputes, but I keep asking myself "how much more am I going to take with all this before I'm fed up with it?")
"Something I have learned on my spiritual path is that everyone is exactly where they need to be"...(definetely)! "I do not offer spiritual guidance unless I am asked, and if I am in that kind of a debate or conversation I tend to listen more than I speak"...(Yes and I ask a lot of questions)..."and only share my opinion when I've decided that the person is ready to hear it. It is not wrong for a person to reject another's opinions or ideas even if it shows they are blind and dogmatic, but it IS wrong to try to force someone to agree with you or understand where you're coming from. People want respect; we cannot expect them to listen to new ideas if their ideas are not taken equally seriously. And not everyone wants to open their mind and learn, not everyone needs that in their life, people need to find these things on their own and then seek teachers, not have teachers seek them...(better yet seek the teacher within you can't go wrong there and it's good to avoid getting involved with the David Koresh and Jim Jones of the world!)
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Post by jeremy on Oct 10, 2005 6:57:30 GMT -5
Earlier today, I read something in one of Paul's letters (ok I don't agree with his personal attitude to women, and I don't really understand it because he himself said that there was no difference between man and woman, but I have a lot of respect for most of the other stuff he said) and I read something that made me think of this thread and how people tend to think of empathy as a mixed blessing. He said "Rejoice with those who are rejoicing, and mourn with those who are mourning." The context: this was in the middle of a whole lot of advice about relating to other people, most of it about being as nice to your enemies as you would be to your friends, and I thought, maybe it's good to not be happy when others near you are not happy. But then again, this is coming from a guy who was stoked to have rocks thrown at him by an angry mob. Unconditional love is not impossible. I use another example from the bible (sorry to those of you that think it's just an archaic piece of junk): As Jesus was dying, he wasn't even angry with the very people that were killing him. Instead he prayed for them to be forgiven. Unfortunately I have no example of a human being so unconditional, but I assure you that I love even many people that you might say I should hate. LA, I disagree with your statement about pushing bad people out of your life. To me, to call someone a bad person would be to call everyone a bad person. People do bad things, I don't know anyone that hasn't. I understand that there is a limit to what you can do for someone that isn't interested in you, but why not reach that limit instead of pulling away from it?
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Post by ladyarchimeades on Oct 12, 2005 21:04:43 GMT -5
Jeremy you may have a good point there, I wonder why God keeps putting these people on my path and you just gave me the answer. I try to see the good in all people but sometimes it's hard especially when they are doing something wrong to you!! But I think you just might have the right answer and I'll apply it the next time something goes wrong. As far as those who think the Bible is an "archaic junk" I can refer you to information that may just change your mind. You may not believe in the Bible and in turn God, but he believes in you and a miracle is alaways in the wings as God works in mysterious ways as in Paul/Sauls case!?
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Nov 1, 2005 15:31:11 GMT -5
Lady A, are you saying that people who follow the Qur'an, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. do not believe in God? I'm sorry, I just got a little confused by that. And when you say believe in the bible, do you mean believe in it as being the direct word of God, or just believe in it as an authentic religious text? I am just wondering. =)
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Post by radaeron on Nov 1, 2005 15:59:39 GMT -5
The Bible is an interesting thing to hear about peoples' thoughts. There are people who take it as word as god, and as Lady A said, dismiss it as archaic junk.
I personally think its partially true, historically speaking, I don't know whether there was a saviour or not, but I believe they wrote down the strange happenings because they -knew- there was something bigger, a god, or just that there were other things, spirits and the like.
But I have that damned doubt in my mind always ^_^ I mean, we even see now how people cover things up that would go down in history. Can we even begin to think how much could have been changed in everything before, including the Bible? :/
.. Well.. I think it has good morals and teachings. But I wouldn't personally take it as solid fact..
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Post by indigirl on Nov 3, 2005 2:04:50 GMT -5
I agree rad, I think the Bible has good morals and teachings as well, but seeing as how the events that transpired in it happened ages and ages ago, and how the Bible has been written over by many people over many years, I don't know if I'd take it as solid fact.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Nov 3, 2005 9:23:47 GMT -5
I agree with Rad too. =)
And Jeremy, about pushing bad people out of your life, it is not like you are being mean to them and abandoning them. If someone is hurting you constantly, backstabbing you, and basically disrespecting you in every way possible, and NOT changing, why stick around and waste all your time trying to help them when you could put the same amount of effort into helping ten other people and achieve miraculous results? It is as Jesus said, something about "Dust off your feet and leave", some people just can't be helped because they don't want to be, and begin to hold you back from your own spirituality because you can't move on in your life with them hanging onto you and putting you down.
That is pretty much the position I got into with my ex... I loved him so much and I really thought I would marry him, but as I became more spiritual and he remained agnostic, and started putting me down and getting into huge fights with me about things like astral projection and souls and Heaven and just about anything to do with God, I began to feel trapped. Finally I had to let go of him, which was such a hard choice to make because I loved him so much, but I had to realize that someone who is right for me that way will understand and respect my beliefs. I've had friends who have turned out rotten, one of which actually blamed me to his parents for something so that he could keep his other friend who had actually done the bad deed. At the time, I had considered him a best friend for years, it was a very painful betrayal. I had to tell him that even though I love him and he can always come to me if he needs anything, I just can't trust him anymore and I don't want to hang out at all.
Unconditional love is very simple - you don't hold back from anyone, not your enemies, not your friends, not yourself. You don't choose who and who not to help based on their personality, and you wish the best for them in all their lives. Does that mean you have to be everyone's best friend and closest companion, and think the world of them? No, I think that would be impossible, but on the other hand it's not like you Hate anyone. It is like your family, everyone unconditionally loves their parents - maybe they don't LIKE their parents, but they love them and only want what's best for them. Love and like do not have to go together... in fact, I find that in most cases other than the romantic kind of love, I usually love first and only begin to like a person after I get to know them. It doesn't mean I dislike them, it just means that I feel the same goodwill towards everyone but genuinely get along with and want to hang out with few.
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