Post by anthonysalas on Jan 16, 2006 22:37:54 GMT -5
i'm going to write down four dreams i had. i'm interested in lucid dreaming, but my intent and focus are pretty off, and have yet to actually be able to do it consistantly (or even more than once every couple of months).... i'm also very spiritually interested, but have always lacked will or motivation, and although i -know- i'm about to experience an intense transformation, i'd rather sit around daydreaming about it than actually working myself toward it.
well a tad bit of history. im extrememly sensitive and shy, my mood changes from one extreme to the other, i find it extremely hard to focus, i dont have muhc of a social life (but the friends i do have i wouldn't trade for the world- but i could never admit that to them- i dont let anyone in close usually....at all)..... and im not in school and i dont have a job. my mom supports me. my mom and i have a great relationship, although i dont let her in close at all either. im used to sitting in my room most of the day.... chatting online ( its obviously easier to be open online) and surfing the web......
ok now for the dreams, the first one was mid november.. and goes something like this...
im driving my car down this road. its in the middle of nowhere, its dark outside, there are no trees, but the road is lit up, but there are no street lights or anything. feel like i have an appointment to maintain. all of a sudden my car locks up and so does my body and the car starts to slowly levitate into the air. i know then im being abducted by aliens. at first im terrified, but then i realize that they're going to want to help me, and then im hopeful....
next thing i know, i'm in a dark ship, i feel paralayzed and sort of disoriented. at this time i immediately recognize it to be a dream. but i've had lucid dreams before, this was completely different. because although i recognized it to be a dream, and could hold that awareness, it still felt very much real. i dont really know how to describe it. anyways, i notice a shadowy figure by me. whatever it is, i know it to be divine, and i understand that the shadowy image it has adopted obviously represents my fear. i remember feeling myself trying to talk to this alien, but i'm also feeling like im on transquilizers, and my words are extremely slurred...
next thing, i can feel the presense of a different alien. i don't see it right away, just feel it. i understand that it wants to faciliate some sort of spiritual healing. i then hear a voice call out my name in my head. "Anthony...... this is your higher self, you can talk to me just by thinking it... go ahead try............" and i asked something, in my mind, and the voice responded. then the 2nd, or master, alien.. talked to me in a different voice.... and then i ask it "how come you visited me in my dreams, rather than in real life?" and it responds "its easier this way...." .... i remember thinking of DNA activation, and tried to ask if this is what it was going to perform. i dont really remember the other exchange of words..... but eventually it comes to ....
it says "we want to help you, but you must remain still and calm..." and then i could feel sensations in my body. and i was getting really excited ... like extremely excited ... i was thinking in my dream.... "wow this is it, my transformation, i'm going to wake up tomorrow a brand new personal. able to express feelings and beliefs....." etc, then i started bouncing around in the room, i was so excited, and woke up....
next morning i wake up, feeling better but not transformed by any means, decide i should start a fast.... which i do, make it 11 days before i give in (was planning on going 40+, i'm doing one now, on my 8th day.... should be a very good experience)
now this dream i had just under 2 weeks, and the next one 2 days after, and the next one 2 days after again...
dream 2:
before the dream: i go to bed early, not actually planning on falling asleep. a lot of times i just lay in my bed and think about stuff.....
now the dream: so since i was laying in bed, the actual transition from awake to sleep was pretty non existant. as i recognized by thoughts and stuff to be the same.. but now im dreaming, in my same position as i was in when i was awake.... anyways, so im laying there, facing the ouside of the bed, thinking to myself.... and i hear a noise come from my window behind me. i dont remember the noise exactly, it just sounded like something entered, but didnt sound like the window opened. it wasn't a sound i recognized.
so im kind of creeped out , and too chicken to turn around, so i sit there for a little bit.. scared. and then i can feel a presence, much like my first dream, and i immediately think of that dream. i know the entity to visiting me to be divine, yet im still afraid. extremely afraid. so afraid i cant turn around and face it still. then i hear what sounds like a bag drop, and then a zip.... i can feel it drawing closer and closer, til i feel it hovering right about me, i can feel its love but still im scared... i start saying in my mind " i am light, i am love, i am one..." (something i try to do, but rarely do, when im nervous, angry, or just want to to awaken myself, etc) i think notice a song coming from my stereo. the volume is low, but i can make out the words "everything to gain gain gain gain" its a song by a band called fischerspooner... ill post the lyrics at the end of the post, they're interesting... and now give me chills...
i remember trying to ask it something with my mind, and i remember i could feel it wanting to respond, or maybe even trying to, but not responding... i dont remember what ia sked it though......... then we kind of sat there a bit longer, and i felt it touch my shoulder lightly, and it said " follow me" in a mystical, feminine and yet electronical sounding voice....... then i could feel it pull away toward my window.... so after like a minute, i gather the courage to turn around and go toward my window... and i look up to the night sky, looking for any kind of evidence of the being but see none ... i was quick to then turn around and head back to my spot (too quick i raelize now...and i dont look at the stars enough)
then when im heading back to my spot, it hits me that its a dream. things seem pretty normal, but there is a sort of surrealness to the enviorment i cant quite put my finger on. this is a comforting thought, knowing now that im in a dream, and i make no attempt to control this dream, like the first one, its different than any other lucid dream i've had. its too real feeling. in a different way. anyways, im back in my spot and i feel the being enter again.... im stll afraid though, though less afraid, and i cant turn around to face it.....
then i feel its hand touch the bottom of my spine, and then it reaches in and seems to holding onto my bottom charka. then that warm sensation floods the bottom area of my body and i start to become extremely relaxed and comforted. it feels so good, and i start "pulling up" the energies myself. this goes on for awhile. then i hear my mom call out my name. im kind of scared of her coming in (ihave kind of lost my awareness of it being a dream) because i feel paralyzed and dont want her to think im on drugs or something, i dont want her to be disappointed in me, and i hear her come in and i pretend to be asleep. she sits above me, as if watching me, and she asks "Are you afraid? are you dead?" only it was more like the entitys voice than her own.... then i kind of sat there, and then i finally able to turn around because i wanted to talk to my mom after that weird expereince, but when i turn around my door is shut and she isn't there. and i sit up for ahwile, then lay back down, and have extremely abstract and sort of schitzophrenic thoughts.. like i was having conversations, but the answers were coming in flashes of people i knew saying something they'd normally say, but it would answer my quesiton, usually symbolically..... but this isn't real uncommon when im sleepy and about to fall asleep, but busy thinking, but it was quite a bit more intense this night...
anyway, here are the lyrics to the song... its Everythign to gain by fischerspooner. i find the lyrics in the album Odyssey to be very relatable, and i completely came across it by "coincidence" .. and its pretty cool that i did. more like it found its way to me. seems to be a guy lost in fantasy, strugging between the rational and the intuitive, aware of the oneness of existance and seeking divinity.... not just the song, the whole album...
If you're like me you've tried everything
You're probably thinking to yourself
And like you I'm sketpical
Gave it a shot and so let me tell you
You're probably asking me
Is there nothing to lose and everything to gain
Everything to gain
Everything to gain
I guarntee my pledge to you
It was the best choice I've ever made
You're probably asking me
Is there nothing to lose and everything to gain
Everything to gain
Everything to gain
I know
I know
I know how you feel
I know
Everything to gain
-----
anyways!!! dream 3:
i'm at my grandmas trailer sitting in her living room. i have my waking awareness and everything about my grandmas place is exactly as i know it to be in waking life. i feel like im waiting for something. i hear a cat meow, and then my mom steps into view from the kitchen. i instantly sense thats it not here and am reminded of my previous dream from the other night (although not aware im dreaming, and never gain that awareness in this dream)... i say " mom??" and she says "no" and we start having a conversations .. a long one, although i can't remember most of it.... except a few exchange of words...
i ask "how come you're trying to help me" to which is responds "your configurations, and dont you want my help?" i also ask "how many more like you are trying to help me" and then i think of the nature of infinity, and also of the oneness, and immediately realize that im trying to help myself, and so i say " i guess i dont know what im trying to ask" and it says "why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer"
then we left, but i dont remember leaving. i remember events occuring but i dont actually remember the events. then we're in a parking lot, and somehow we're on the subject of kissing. it says i should kiss my girlfriend with more passion, like i love her, since i do love her.. i shouldn't hold back.... and then i ask if i can practice on it(it has the image of my mom...............)... and it hink i grab its hand and start heading off to somewhere more private, and thats all i can remember.......
dream 4:
this dream, im in my grandmas house again. im laying down on her bed. i feel the entitys presence again. im still kind of scared to face it. i dont remember this dream so well, but it eventually says "face me" and so i turn around and see a shadowy figure i can barely make out. i remrember we talked , but i dont remember what about again, and then i remember feeling like it suggesting kissing it, and then it kind of "slid" from my bed side to in bed next to me, and i tried to kiss it..lol.. but its like it vanished. then next thing i remember office space is on the TV infront of my grandmas bed. my grandmas bedroom is also exactly as i remember it to be in waking life. anyways, office space is on, and songs to the Fischerspooner cd i was talking about later are being played during the movie. i remember thinking i've have to tell my friend (who really likes office space and who i also suggested downloading the CD to a day or two earlier) that the songs are on that movie.
then im laying on my stomach hoping the entity will come back, and my sister is now in the room on a computer. im annoyed that shes in there because i know the entity would never come with her busily chatting on the computer. i ask her when shes going to be done and she is obviously annoyed by the question and immediately logs off with an "im done" and .... thats all i can remember...
anyways, this is a long post . just hoping to get some friendly insights and interpertations.
thanks in advance, hopefully the reads were somehwat intersting bye
well a tad bit of history. im extrememly sensitive and shy, my mood changes from one extreme to the other, i find it extremely hard to focus, i dont have muhc of a social life (but the friends i do have i wouldn't trade for the world- but i could never admit that to them- i dont let anyone in close usually....at all)..... and im not in school and i dont have a job. my mom supports me. my mom and i have a great relationship, although i dont let her in close at all either. im used to sitting in my room most of the day.... chatting online ( its obviously easier to be open online) and surfing the web......
ok now for the dreams, the first one was mid november.. and goes something like this...
im driving my car down this road. its in the middle of nowhere, its dark outside, there are no trees, but the road is lit up, but there are no street lights or anything. feel like i have an appointment to maintain. all of a sudden my car locks up and so does my body and the car starts to slowly levitate into the air. i know then im being abducted by aliens. at first im terrified, but then i realize that they're going to want to help me, and then im hopeful....
next thing i know, i'm in a dark ship, i feel paralayzed and sort of disoriented. at this time i immediately recognize it to be a dream. but i've had lucid dreams before, this was completely different. because although i recognized it to be a dream, and could hold that awareness, it still felt very much real. i dont really know how to describe it. anyways, i notice a shadowy figure by me. whatever it is, i know it to be divine, and i understand that the shadowy image it has adopted obviously represents my fear. i remember feeling myself trying to talk to this alien, but i'm also feeling like im on transquilizers, and my words are extremely slurred...
next thing, i can feel the presense of a different alien. i don't see it right away, just feel it. i understand that it wants to faciliate some sort of spiritual healing. i then hear a voice call out my name in my head. "Anthony...... this is your higher self, you can talk to me just by thinking it... go ahead try............" and i asked something, in my mind, and the voice responded. then the 2nd, or master, alien.. talked to me in a different voice.... and then i ask it "how come you visited me in my dreams, rather than in real life?" and it responds "its easier this way...." .... i remember thinking of DNA activation, and tried to ask if this is what it was going to perform. i dont really remember the other exchange of words..... but eventually it comes to ....
it says "we want to help you, but you must remain still and calm..." and then i could feel sensations in my body. and i was getting really excited ... like extremely excited ... i was thinking in my dream.... "wow this is it, my transformation, i'm going to wake up tomorrow a brand new personal. able to express feelings and beliefs....." etc, then i started bouncing around in the room, i was so excited, and woke up....
next morning i wake up, feeling better but not transformed by any means, decide i should start a fast.... which i do, make it 11 days before i give in (was planning on going 40+, i'm doing one now, on my 8th day.... should be a very good experience)
now this dream i had just under 2 weeks, and the next one 2 days after, and the next one 2 days after again...
dream 2:
before the dream: i go to bed early, not actually planning on falling asleep. a lot of times i just lay in my bed and think about stuff.....
now the dream: so since i was laying in bed, the actual transition from awake to sleep was pretty non existant. as i recognized by thoughts and stuff to be the same.. but now im dreaming, in my same position as i was in when i was awake.... anyways, so im laying there, facing the ouside of the bed, thinking to myself.... and i hear a noise come from my window behind me. i dont remember the noise exactly, it just sounded like something entered, but didnt sound like the window opened. it wasn't a sound i recognized.
so im kind of creeped out , and too chicken to turn around, so i sit there for a little bit.. scared. and then i can feel a presence, much like my first dream, and i immediately think of that dream. i know the entity to visiting me to be divine, yet im still afraid. extremely afraid. so afraid i cant turn around and face it still. then i hear what sounds like a bag drop, and then a zip.... i can feel it drawing closer and closer, til i feel it hovering right about me, i can feel its love but still im scared... i start saying in my mind " i am light, i am love, i am one..." (something i try to do, but rarely do, when im nervous, angry, or just want to to awaken myself, etc) i think notice a song coming from my stereo. the volume is low, but i can make out the words "everything to gain gain gain gain" its a song by a band called fischerspooner... ill post the lyrics at the end of the post, they're interesting... and now give me chills...
i remember trying to ask it something with my mind, and i remember i could feel it wanting to respond, or maybe even trying to, but not responding... i dont remember what ia sked it though......... then we kind of sat there a bit longer, and i felt it touch my shoulder lightly, and it said " follow me" in a mystical, feminine and yet electronical sounding voice....... then i could feel it pull away toward my window.... so after like a minute, i gather the courage to turn around and go toward my window... and i look up to the night sky, looking for any kind of evidence of the being but see none ... i was quick to then turn around and head back to my spot (too quick i raelize now...and i dont look at the stars enough)
then when im heading back to my spot, it hits me that its a dream. things seem pretty normal, but there is a sort of surrealness to the enviorment i cant quite put my finger on. this is a comforting thought, knowing now that im in a dream, and i make no attempt to control this dream, like the first one, its different than any other lucid dream i've had. its too real feeling. in a different way. anyways, im back in my spot and i feel the being enter again.... im stll afraid though, though less afraid, and i cant turn around to face it.....
then i feel its hand touch the bottom of my spine, and then it reaches in and seems to holding onto my bottom charka. then that warm sensation floods the bottom area of my body and i start to become extremely relaxed and comforted. it feels so good, and i start "pulling up" the energies myself. this goes on for awhile. then i hear my mom call out my name. im kind of scared of her coming in (ihave kind of lost my awareness of it being a dream) because i feel paralyzed and dont want her to think im on drugs or something, i dont want her to be disappointed in me, and i hear her come in and i pretend to be asleep. she sits above me, as if watching me, and she asks "Are you afraid? are you dead?" only it was more like the entitys voice than her own.... then i kind of sat there, and then i finally able to turn around because i wanted to talk to my mom after that weird expereince, but when i turn around my door is shut and she isn't there. and i sit up for ahwile, then lay back down, and have extremely abstract and sort of schitzophrenic thoughts.. like i was having conversations, but the answers were coming in flashes of people i knew saying something they'd normally say, but it would answer my quesiton, usually symbolically..... but this isn't real uncommon when im sleepy and about to fall asleep, but busy thinking, but it was quite a bit more intense this night...
anyway, here are the lyrics to the song... its Everythign to gain by fischerspooner. i find the lyrics in the album Odyssey to be very relatable, and i completely came across it by "coincidence" .. and its pretty cool that i did. more like it found its way to me. seems to be a guy lost in fantasy, strugging between the rational and the intuitive, aware of the oneness of existance and seeking divinity.... not just the song, the whole album...
If you're like me you've tried everything
You're probably thinking to yourself
And like you I'm sketpical
Gave it a shot and so let me tell you
You're probably asking me
Is there nothing to lose and everything to gain
Everything to gain
Everything to gain
I guarntee my pledge to you
It was the best choice I've ever made
You're probably asking me
Is there nothing to lose and everything to gain
Everything to gain
Everything to gain
I know
I know
I know how you feel
I know
Everything to gain
-----
anyways!!! dream 3:
i'm at my grandmas trailer sitting in her living room. i have my waking awareness and everything about my grandmas place is exactly as i know it to be in waking life. i feel like im waiting for something. i hear a cat meow, and then my mom steps into view from the kitchen. i instantly sense thats it not here and am reminded of my previous dream from the other night (although not aware im dreaming, and never gain that awareness in this dream)... i say " mom??" and she says "no" and we start having a conversations .. a long one, although i can't remember most of it.... except a few exchange of words...
i ask "how come you're trying to help me" to which is responds "your configurations, and dont you want my help?" i also ask "how many more like you are trying to help me" and then i think of the nature of infinity, and also of the oneness, and immediately realize that im trying to help myself, and so i say " i guess i dont know what im trying to ask" and it says "why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer"
then we left, but i dont remember leaving. i remember events occuring but i dont actually remember the events. then we're in a parking lot, and somehow we're on the subject of kissing. it says i should kiss my girlfriend with more passion, like i love her, since i do love her.. i shouldn't hold back.... and then i ask if i can practice on it(it has the image of my mom...............)... and it hink i grab its hand and start heading off to somewhere more private, and thats all i can remember.......
dream 4:
this dream, im in my grandmas house again. im laying down on her bed. i feel the entitys presence again. im still kind of scared to face it. i dont remember this dream so well, but it eventually says "face me" and so i turn around and see a shadowy figure i can barely make out. i remrember we talked , but i dont remember what about again, and then i remember feeling like it suggesting kissing it, and then it kind of "slid" from my bed side to in bed next to me, and i tried to kiss it..lol.. but its like it vanished. then next thing i remember office space is on the TV infront of my grandmas bed. my grandmas bedroom is also exactly as i remember it to be in waking life. anyways, office space is on, and songs to the Fischerspooner cd i was talking about later are being played during the movie. i remember thinking i've have to tell my friend (who really likes office space and who i also suggested downloading the CD to a day or two earlier) that the songs are on that movie.
then im laying on my stomach hoping the entity will come back, and my sister is now in the room on a computer. im annoyed that shes in there because i know the entity would never come with her busily chatting on the computer. i ask her when shes going to be done and she is obviously annoyed by the question and immediately logs off with an "im done" and .... thats all i can remember...
anyways, this is a long post . just hoping to get some friendly insights and interpertations.
thanks in advance, hopefully the reads were somehwat intersting bye