Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Jun 10, 2006 23:50:06 GMT -5
Tao Living
The Soft Overcomes
the Hard
by Derek Lin
One day, a young man visited with the sage and complained bitterly about his job at the local store.
"The boss has no respect for my talents," he told the sage. "He does not give me the authority I deserve and ignores the sensible ideas I suggest. I've had all I can take of this rudeness. I am going to march into his office, give him a piece of my mind, and quit!"
The sage asked: "How much do you know about the business of the store? Do you know how they keep track of profits, expenses, or inventory?"
"Not really. Why do you ask?"
"If you resign right now, they won't see it as a big loss because you don't possess any valuable knowledge. A much better plan to have your revenge is to learn everything about their business before you quit. Take advantage of them by using the store as a free source of training. When you leave, your departure will come as a crushing blow, and you'll walk away with all their business secrets."
"That's a great idea," the young man said. "It'll really make them regret looking down on me. I'll show them!"
He put the plan into action. He used stolen moments throughout the day to covertly learn the many aspects of the business. He cut short his breaks and stayed after-hours in order to spend more time perfecting his newly acquired knowledge.
A year later, the sage ran into him at the market and greeted him. "How goes your plan for revenge? Have you learned enough to quit?"
"Yes, I have, but... the boss has changed completely! He values my work and frequently compliments me. In the past few months he gave me important assignments, a promotion, and a raise! Everything is different now, and… well, I don't really want to quit..."
It was exactly as the sage expected. The sage knew that when the young man failed to gain respect initially, it might not be because of rudeness, but simply because of his lack of abilities and his failure to apply himself. The young man could not see his own faults. He felt he was right and entitled to more praise than he received.
Tao Te Ching chapter 24 describes this mindset as follows:
Those who presume themselves are not distinguished
Those who praise themselves have no merit
Lao Tzu's message is clear: those who presume, or think they are always right, will not be considered respectable or admirable by others; those who incessantly praise themselves do not possess true merit. This is why the young man did not gain the recognition to which he felt entitled.
To what extent do these lines also describe you and me? We may assume that we are far wiser than the young man, but surveys consistently reveal that most people feel contempt for their managers. The truth is, we often complain about the boss or the management, and many of us contemplate quitting from time to time.
In our conflict-oriented culture, we have a tendency to counter force with force. If someone yells at us, we yell back louder. When we feel disrespected, our first impulse is to give that disrespect right back – just like the young man. Some of us even take pride in this and openly proclaim that we give as good as we take.
Thus, the conventional approach is all about confrontation and clashing. It is the "hard" path to traverse through life because it focuses on the external manifestations of power. Its method is to pump up the self by diminishing others.
The Tao approach isn't about confrontation and clashing. Instead, it is all about redirecting and channeling. It is the "soft" path because it focuses on internal strength. Its goal is to improve oneself so that everyone can win.
When the young man spoke of his initial plan to quit, his primary thought was that it would be the quickest way to vent his frustration. He could feel better by hurling back the rudeness he perceived. By diminishing others in this manner, he would gain a satisfying victory.
Or would he? After the venting and quitting, he would be out of a job. He would be financially worse off and no wiser than before. The victory that he thought would be satisfying would quickly become shallow and meaningless. His conventional approach would yield a conventional result: a life with more discord and strife.
The sage saw this and nudged him into a completely different direction. The energy most people devote to lashing out and damaging others is considerable. The sage redirected and channeled this energy into a constructive path – a path that leads to a real, meaningful, and lasting victory.
At this point we may find ourselves wondering: "But what if the boss is really horrible so that no matter how hard you try, nothing you do is ever good enough? Then wouldn't you be wasting time and effort learning about the business?"
Not at all. Bad bosses and poor managers certainly exist, but the sage's teaching remains true. When the young man became truly distinguished and accumulated real merits through disciplined effort, he would receive recognition and respect no matter what – if not from his own boss, then certainly from the store's competitors. His result would remain the same: a real, meaningful, and lasting victory.
This teaching isn't new. Lao Tzu wrote repeatedly that the soft overcomes the hard. Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek. We even have a common saying that living well (as opposed to striking back) is the best revenge. These are all profound wisdom and echoes of the Tao approach. But despite our familiarity with the concept, it is not something most of us can apply to daily life.
It is exactly as Tao Te Ching chapter 78 points out:
That the weak overcomes the strong
And the soft overcomes the hard
Everybody in the world knows
But cannot put into practice
It may be because the Tao approach is inwardly directed and lacks conspicuous external manifestations (animosity, arguments, fights). This can easily give people the misleading impression of weakness and cowardice, when in reality the Tao approach requires uncommon courage and willpower.
When we encounter injuries of any kind, our instinctive response is one of hatred as well as a powerful desire to "get even." We want "an eye for an eye." We wish to "repay in kind" or "fight fire with fire." There is definitely a part of humanity we all possess that is contentious in nature.
Few people have the spiritual strength and understanding to transcend this contentiousness. It is not an easy lesson to master, but at least the Tao Te Ching highlights the difficulty so we can pay special attention to this aspect of cultivation. It also gives us a useful analogy by comparing the Tao approach to water. Water is seemingly soft and weak, and yet has the tremendous power to penetrate, dissolve, and wash away rocks. Keeping this analogy in mind makes it easier for us to apply the principle in everyday situations.
When we master this lesson, the result can be dramatic. The young man said his boss changed and everything was different. In reality, it was him that changed, and that alone made all the difference in the world.
That is exactly the way it can work for us as well. When you make a gut-level decision to commit yourself to this teaching, to be like water and allow the soft to overcome the hard… that is when your world, your life, and your fate will undergo a startling transformation. When you improve your character and elevate your spiritual understanding by utilizing the Tao approach… that is when your destiny will never be the same again!
from www.truetao.org
The Soft Overcomes
the Hard
by Derek Lin
One day, a young man visited with the sage and complained bitterly about his job at the local store.
"The boss has no respect for my talents," he told the sage. "He does not give me the authority I deserve and ignores the sensible ideas I suggest. I've had all I can take of this rudeness. I am going to march into his office, give him a piece of my mind, and quit!"
The sage asked: "How much do you know about the business of the store? Do you know how they keep track of profits, expenses, or inventory?"
"Not really. Why do you ask?"
"If you resign right now, they won't see it as a big loss because you don't possess any valuable knowledge. A much better plan to have your revenge is to learn everything about their business before you quit. Take advantage of them by using the store as a free source of training. When you leave, your departure will come as a crushing blow, and you'll walk away with all their business secrets."
"That's a great idea," the young man said. "It'll really make them regret looking down on me. I'll show them!"
He put the plan into action. He used stolen moments throughout the day to covertly learn the many aspects of the business. He cut short his breaks and stayed after-hours in order to spend more time perfecting his newly acquired knowledge.
A year later, the sage ran into him at the market and greeted him. "How goes your plan for revenge? Have you learned enough to quit?"
"Yes, I have, but... the boss has changed completely! He values my work and frequently compliments me. In the past few months he gave me important assignments, a promotion, and a raise! Everything is different now, and… well, I don't really want to quit..."
It was exactly as the sage expected. The sage knew that when the young man failed to gain respect initially, it might not be because of rudeness, but simply because of his lack of abilities and his failure to apply himself. The young man could not see his own faults. He felt he was right and entitled to more praise than he received.
Tao Te Ching chapter 24 describes this mindset as follows:
Those who presume themselves are not distinguished
Those who praise themselves have no merit
Lao Tzu's message is clear: those who presume, or think they are always right, will not be considered respectable or admirable by others; those who incessantly praise themselves do not possess true merit. This is why the young man did not gain the recognition to which he felt entitled.
To what extent do these lines also describe you and me? We may assume that we are far wiser than the young man, but surveys consistently reveal that most people feel contempt for their managers. The truth is, we often complain about the boss or the management, and many of us contemplate quitting from time to time.
In our conflict-oriented culture, we have a tendency to counter force with force. If someone yells at us, we yell back louder. When we feel disrespected, our first impulse is to give that disrespect right back – just like the young man. Some of us even take pride in this and openly proclaim that we give as good as we take.
Thus, the conventional approach is all about confrontation and clashing. It is the "hard" path to traverse through life because it focuses on the external manifestations of power. Its method is to pump up the self by diminishing others.
The Tao approach isn't about confrontation and clashing. Instead, it is all about redirecting and channeling. It is the "soft" path because it focuses on internal strength. Its goal is to improve oneself so that everyone can win.
When the young man spoke of his initial plan to quit, his primary thought was that it would be the quickest way to vent his frustration. He could feel better by hurling back the rudeness he perceived. By diminishing others in this manner, he would gain a satisfying victory.
Or would he? After the venting and quitting, he would be out of a job. He would be financially worse off and no wiser than before. The victory that he thought would be satisfying would quickly become shallow and meaningless. His conventional approach would yield a conventional result: a life with more discord and strife.
The sage saw this and nudged him into a completely different direction. The energy most people devote to lashing out and damaging others is considerable. The sage redirected and channeled this energy into a constructive path – a path that leads to a real, meaningful, and lasting victory.
At this point we may find ourselves wondering: "But what if the boss is really horrible so that no matter how hard you try, nothing you do is ever good enough? Then wouldn't you be wasting time and effort learning about the business?"
Not at all. Bad bosses and poor managers certainly exist, but the sage's teaching remains true. When the young man became truly distinguished and accumulated real merits through disciplined effort, he would receive recognition and respect no matter what – if not from his own boss, then certainly from the store's competitors. His result would remain the same: a real, meaningful, and lasting victory.
This teaching isn't new. Lao Tzu wrote repeatedly that the soft overcomes the hard. Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek. We even have a common saying that living well (as opposed to striking back) is the best revenge. These are all profound wisdom and echoes of the Tao approach. But despite our familiarity with the concept, it is not something most of us can apply to daily life.
It is exactly as Tao Te Ching chapter 78 points out:
That the weak overcomes the strong
And the soft overcomes the hard
Everybody in the world knows
But cannot put into practice
It may be because the Tao approach is inwardly directed and lacks conspicuous external manifestations (animosity, arguments, fights). This can easily give people the misleading impression of weakness and cowardice, when in reality the Tao approach requires uncommon courage and willpower.
When we encounter injuries of any kind, our instinctive response is one of hatred as well as a powerful desire to "get even." We want "an eye for an eye." We wish to "repay in kind" or "fight fire with fire." There is definitely a part of humanity we all possess that is contentious in nature.
Few people have the spiritual strength and understanding to transcend this contentiousness. It is not an easy lesson to master, but at least the Tao Te Ching highlights the difficulty so we can pay special attention to this aspect of cultivation. It also gives us a useful analogy by comparing the Tao approach to water. Water is seemingly soft and weak, and yet has the tremendous power to penetrate, dissolve, and wash away rocks. Keeping this analogy in mind makes it easier for us to apply the principle in everyday situations.
When we master this lesson, the result can be dramatic. The young man said his boss changed and everything was different. In reality, it was him that changed, and that alone made all the difference in the world.
That is exactly the way it can work for us as well. When you make a gut-level decision to commit yourself to this teaching, to be like water and allow the soft to overcome the hard… that is when your world, your life, and your fate will undergo a startling transformation. When you improve your character and elevate your spiritual understanding by utilizing the Tao approach… that is when your destiny will never be the same again!
from www.truetao.org