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Post by shepardess on Sept 29, 2005 13:40:46 GMT -5
So, I recently got engaged which seems really weird to me. I am also very excited as I feel very well matched with my fiance. But, now that I am thinking about marriage the idea of having children is becoming an ever-increasing reality. I am not opposed to the idea and do love the energy of most children and the function of a small family group, but its still scary.
I always though that I would want to start having kids around the age of 28, but f**k , thats less then two years away! There is so much to do yet.
I read some information that stated that indigos probably won't have children. I hate that kind of assumed labeling as much as anybody, but it did make me think. Is having children a concious choice that those of us who put so much focus on personal evolvolution as way to heighten the vibration of the planet, something that we are willing to do?
How many of you see yourself as having children? And what are the reasons behind your decision? I know some of you are a healthy distance from having to actually make that decision, but what is your initial reaction to the idea?
I would appreciate all of your insights, Kate
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Post by radaeron on Sept 29, 2005 14:00:35 GMT -5
Hmm. I agree that kind of labelling is stomach churning, like we're all infertile or don't want children ¬¬
I'll admit upfront I've never decided one way or another. If I fell in love with someone and them with me, then I would hope to share that love for a long time. I can only say that now. As for having children. I don't know. Having something you have helped create, or bring to the physical plain again (if you believe in reincarnation, which I do to a level), and being able to love it more than anything in the world. Then hopefully having that love reciprocated (sp?).
Of course the biggest con in my mind about it is what sort of world would I be bringing them into. If we're still here with an even more damaged Earth then I would probably have doubts about it.
Those are my thoughts, even if they are poorly presented and scattered. I haven't thought upon this subject a whole lot.
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Post by gemma on Sept 29, 2005 15:26:38 GMT -5
Congratulations!
When I think into the future, I always see myself as a mother surrounded by lot of children and horses and dogs and cats.
But I don't wanna have children. Not yet. My heart is still unripe for such thoughts. Maybe our desire will grow, just like a blossom opens her petals. Slowly your panick will fade away and maybe time will bring the desire to have children. Give yourself time, and don't be afraid. Don't doubt in yourself. Your heart will know what to do.
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Post by ne ws oci e ty on Sept 29, 2005 15:29:08 GMT -5
first, congrats I read some information that stated that indigos probably won't have children. I hate that kind of assumed labeling as much as anybody, but it did make me think. Is having children a concious choice that those of us who put so much focus on personal evolvolution as way to heighten the vibration of the planet, something that we are willing to do? I think it's best to ignore such classifications, they are just silly. A person can't just assess every individual spirit and imply such a thing. For some, childbearing would raise individual vibration and planetary vibration. For some, a more individual path would be better suit. It's all up to the very essence of each individual, it has nothing to do with whether someone is indigo, green, purple, checkered, or whatever. Of course the biggest con in my mind about it is what sort of world would I be bringing them into. If we're still here with an even more damaged Earth then I would probably have doubts about it. Indeed it would be difficult to bring up a child in this world in this time. Personally I would love to have children but would not be able to do so, even if I wanted to, until the world (and my life) became stable again. See, it is all about you. I can imagine that everyone nearing possible child-bearing stage gets scared, nervous, and the like. It sounds to me that you just have initial fear of partaking in such a grand experience, but would indeed like to do it. Of course I may be wrong. Let your true essence flow, and you will make the right decision.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Sept 29, 2005 23:26:45 GMT -5
Yeah that sounds like over-labeling for me too. Honestly, I can't see my future without children, I can't wait until I'm mature enough and responsible to have my own. Even though it's obviously a lot of work and no fun going through pregnancy, I wouldn't want to live without such an experience.
Take life at your own time - don't set down "Oh, I'm going to do this at this age and that at that age..." my mom had me when she was 40. Yes, FOURTY. That's how long it took her to settle down with the right guy and actually get pregnant When you are ready for kids, have them - if you get pregnant from your husband (OMG CONGRATULATIONS!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!) then who knows, maybe it will hit you then that you are ready. Sometimes we aren't sure what we really want in a situation until we're faced with it head on, you know? And kids are a big step.
:hug: I wish you the best of luck with your marriage and I'm sooo happy for you, I know that no matter what you choose it will fit with who you are and it will be the right decision. Best of luck, and let us know how the wedding goes! ^_^
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Post by jeremy on Sept 30, 2005 1:26:10 GMT -5
Apart from having no idea who I would want to marry, my only objection to kids is that I tend to have lots of energy when I'm with them and then just about fall asleep on my feet the moment they're gone. To tell you the truth, as I've shifted the idea of having children some day has appealed more rather than less, but then so has the appeal of certain other ideas that I wouldn't want to involve children. Congratulations on your engagement Kate!
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Post by gemma on Sept 30, 2005 7:53:24 GMT -5
CM, how in the sweet heaven are you so clever and wise? Because you are, you really are.
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Post by shepardess on Sept 30, 2005 12:54:22 GMT -5
I want to thank everyone for thier replies and sweet, sweet words of congratulations. It nice that such sincerity can come through even across the computer. Don't worry though, the last thing I ever do is buy into those kind of labels. That type of labeling was actually what kept me away from most things "indigo" in the first place. It's really quite insulting and scary to me. That statement just made think. But thank you for all of your guidance against such generalizations. radaeron- You definately have plenty of time to figure that stuff out . I found that I went through sooooo much change from the ages of 18-22. It made being a teenager seem like a peice a cake. Gemma- I think you are right about the flower analogy, as I get older its been almost comical to watch the hormonal "mothering" come out in me. I find myself watching children more intently and imaginging that when I hold my fat cat its a baby. :> that desire seems to creep up on you. Newsociety- I agree with your point that its a scary world to bring children into, but I personally feel that if I refused my desire to have a family based on the belief that the world is an ugly place right now that I would be propagating that reality rather than working against it. But I totally appreciate your perspective. Your take on where I am at in this experience is right on. CM- Thank you again for your always kind and wise words. I have realized in recent years that putting an arbitrary deadline on major life decisions is pretty futile. Its hard to not do it, and (as always) try and live fully in the moment. Its so great to hear about women who took thier time and still ended up creating families, knowing that about your mother does make it seem like I may have more time than I thought. Arya-Thats awesome that you are with someone that you think you could see yourself having a future with. Good luck. But I guess with a descion that important it is wise to take your time. I have been dating my fiance for just about five years and we have lived together for just over two of those. Its been a long road and I expect that, as is the nature of such relationships, that it will continue to be. I do see children in my future. I guess the thing that gives me the most concern is working with myself and getting to a point that I think is a good starting point for my children. Does that make sense? It is my belief that a persons knoweledge is somewhat an accumulation of all the generations that came before them. I think that my grandparents must have learned and healed somethings in thier life that when they had children were atomatically taught an understood. So then with my parents and then again on from me. I just hope to be in very "healthy" state of mind. I am not even really that scared about what could happen in terms of world economy and stability in the future. I would trust that whatever child came to me would have choosen that time for its life, and also I think deeply that a persons happiness is totally dependent upon the quality and state of thier mind, and a person should be able to be happy even without all the luxuries our generation is so fortunate to have... That may qualify as rambling, but....what can I do. I am and artist not a writer Thanks again for all your posts. This really is a special group here. I have searched around other similar sites and haven't found the consistancy of intelligence, understanding and tolerence that is exhibited here. Thanks all of you for sharing your knowledge with me daily, Kate
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Post by radaeron on Sept 30, 2005 13:02:15 GMT -5
Hard to say if its knowledge ^^; Everyone's interpretation of knowledge and truth are different though. Which is why I prefer this group of open minded people than others you meet. .. And my apologies ^^; On my first post I got so caught up in thought about children I forgot to congratulate you.. So congratulations
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Post by shepardess on Sept 30, 2005 13:13:24 GMT -5
Hard to say if its knowledge ^^; Everyone's interpretation of knowledge and truth are different though. Which is why I prefer this group of open minded people than others you meet. Precisely My Point
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Post by indigirl on Sept 30, 2005 16:34:05 GMT -5
I know I'm a little late but . . .
*CONGRATULATIONS KATE*
an engagement is wonderful news!
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Post by shepardess on Sept 30, 2005 16:36:39 GMT -5
Thanks Indigirl!
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Sept 30, 2005 16:47:45 GMT -5
Hehe, thank you Gemma, that made me blush. And I'm glad, Shepardess, that my mother let you see that you have more time than you thought. ^_^ :hugs to all:
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Post by luz18 on Oct 1, 2005 4:51:52 GMT -5
shepardess... I wish you all the happiness of the world! Enjoy every minute of it.... And as for what you said about happiness coming from inside us (our state of mind)... it couldn't be more true. As for having children, the best thing to do is just go with the flow of things and be happy and put your worries aside... it's normal to feel a little scared... but just know that whatever happens, it's for the best
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Post by jeremy on Oct 1, 2005 7:28:37 GMT -5
Of course the biggest con in my mind about it is what sort of world would I be bringing them into. If we're still here with an even more damaged Earth then I would probably have doubts about it. Still think the world is unfit to bring children into?
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Post by radaeron on Oct 1, 2005 8:13:06 GMT -5
Hmm. Perhaps I wasn't specific enough.
I mean mostly by the artificiality we've made of it. Mankind making systems to make things easier, politics and governments making what they view as good decisions, turfing over fields to concrete them over.
Well.. Although I can't quite think how to put the point across I at least know what I mean.
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Post by djgirlcherise on Oct 1, 2005 13:48:10 GMT -5
Hey Shepardess,
Just remember, the decision is ultimately yours. Here's my perspective.
I'm 33 now, and have been engaged to the same man for almost six years. For some reason, my body isn't screaming at me to push something really big out of a really small space yet. Go figure.
Also, I just want to share a quick anecdote about the Earth and it's parallels in ugliness and beauty.
For two years straight, the forests in British Columbia were on fire. It was hot and dry, and thousands and thousands of old growth forests were uncontrolably abaze. Many animals died and lost their homes, and many families lost their homes. Two years later, the sun is shining on land that hasn't seen sunshine for many hundreds of years. The new vegetation created bumper crops of food for the remaining animals to eat. The animals are reproducing, and the people have re-built their homes, or have moved on in new directions.
P.S. I'm deejaying for a wedding tonight! Best of luck with your choices, Shepardess. xo
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Post by ne ws oci e ty on Oct 2, 2005 22:34:36 GMT -5
Still think the world is unfit to bring children into? unfortunately not everything is sticks and flowers..lol
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Post by jeremy on Oct 2, 2005 22:43:13 GMT -5
Learn to see the glass as half full.
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Post by ne ws oci e ty on Oct 2, 2005 22:54:01 GMT -5
i see it half full and half empty ;D
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Post by Shaelyn on Oct 4, 2005 22:05:06 GMT -5
the world is what we make of it.
likewise, the world for our children will be what they make of it. it's their choice to see it as fit or unfit, and they will make that choice. To get into my own beliefs a little bit...I see our lives as learning experiences. If they're born into this world, there's a reason for it. They have SOMETHING to learn. There is no "bad" or "good" life...there's just learning.
Personally, I'm kinda scared to have kids...but at the same time, I can't wait to.
PS Congratulamations!
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Post by jeremy on Oct 4, 2005 22:25:46 GMT -5
Half full and half empty, well that got me thinking. If you really think about it, when you say something is empty, it is not empty, but what you were looking for was not there. The glass is completely full, but only half of its contents is water. The world is indeed what you make it, as I see it, the choices people make are responsible for everything we don't like about the world. I will stop being a smartass now.
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Post by ne ws oci e ty on Oct 4, 2005 23:07:36 GMT -5
no it's cool jeremy, i kindof invited it by being a smartass myself. just trying to spice things up a bit. i understand what you are saying. it just seems like it would be hard in some cases, i'll give an example, me. simply put, i don't think i could afford bringing up a child, financially or timenancially (yay). with a 9-5 job you can't just leave your kid at home, right? and a baby especially would take more money for support than the few dollars left over from bills? something like near double my own expenses? how would i get around that? i don't exactly live in the shire, lol
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Post by jeremy on Oct 4, 2005 23:28:33 GMT -5
um, yeah, it's a lot easier to have a baby with two parents, not just the obvious reason, but it does take more than one person to provide all of a baby's needs. There are places not too different from the shire, why not go there if you think that would make things easier?
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Post by Uriah on Oct 5, 2005 14:24:40 GMT -5
CONGRATULATIONS, I wish you all the best! About having children, it's your decision and it'll happen if it happens. I myself would love to have children just not anytime soon. I have many things I have to do and work out for myself before I could be of any help raising a child. I love children and can't wait. Though the time will come when I am ready even if I think I am not. Half full and half empty, well that got me thinking. If you really think about it, when you say something is empty, it is not empty, but what you were looking for was not there. The glass is completely full, but only half of its contents is water. The world is indeed what you make it, as I see it, the choices people make are responsible for everything we don't like about the world. I will stop being a smartass now. I really like that perspective. It's how I've started seeing things many times.
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Post by ne ws oci e ty on Oct 5, 2005 15:39:36 GMT -5
um, yeah, it's a lot easier to have a baby with two parents, not just the obvious reason, but it does take more than one person to provide all of a baby's needs. There are places not too different from the shire, why not go there if you think that would make things easier? i realize that, i just kind of assumed the partner into my story. still the point is the same.. when radaeron was talking about the world i'm sure he wasn't referring to the natural world. rather, the established societal grid, and the changes the world is going through. a lot of things may make it less feasible in his mind to have children here and now (and i agree). if we were in a non-brain-washed, sensical, spiritually aware society, we could leave the kid at home, we could let the kid go to his friends house across town, a lot of things would be different. etc... we are going through some rough times here on planet earth. if i added a kid to my life, it would make for a lot more worry and strain that i couldn't afford, since i already feel i've been at the edge for a long time. if we were in a better society, i would have a lot less to consider before bringing a child here, not only for the child's life, but my (and partner's) life. Half full and half empty, well that got me thinking. If you really think about it, when you say something is empty, it is not empty, but what you were looking for was not there. The glass is completely full, but only half of its contents is water. it is half full of water and half empty of water, just like the world may be half full of peace and half empty of peace. when talking about peace, i don't say, the world is half full of peace and half full of war, therefore it's actually completely full, therefore hooray. my perspectives and arguments may be wrong, as always, and if so i actually invite people to slap me, criticize me, prove me wrong, whatever... i would thoroughly enjoy it.
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