|
Post by Laurel Chaisson on Aug 4, 2005 20:50:04 GMT -5
Wikipedia defines self-harm this way: Self-harm is also known as self-injury (SI), self-inflicted violence (SIV), self-injurious behavior (SIB), and self-mutilation, although this last term has connotations that some people find perturbing. When discussing self-harm with someone who engages in it, it is suggested to use the same terms and words which that person uses, e.g. "cutting", rather than insisting on labeling it "self-harm".
A common form of self-injury is shallow cuts to the skin of the arms or legs, or less frequently to other parts of the body, including the breasts and sexual organs. Since this is the most well-known, it is casually referred to as "cutting", though it may also involve punching, slapping, or burning oneself as well. A more rare form of self-injury involves swallowing dangerous objects or substances. The usual purpose of self-injury is not to attempt suicide, but to relieve unbearable emotional pressure. Self-injury is seen by some as attention seeking behavior, though many self-injurers are ashamed and embarrassed, going to some lengths to conceal their behavior from others.
Strictly, self-harm is a general term for self-damaging activities (which could include alcohol abuse, bulimia, etc). Self-injury refers to the more specific practice of cutting, bruising, self poisoning, over-dosing (without suicidal intent, at first), burning or otherwise directly injuring the body. Self-harm is also a way for people to relieve the emotional pain of everyday life, especially in the case of teenagers, but not exclusively. People who self harm may hurt themselves with a favourite 'tool' or by whatever means available to "wipe out" the emotional distress that they feel inside.
It should be noted that many people, including Health Care Workers, define self harm based around the act of damaging one's own body, whereas it may be more accurate to define self harm based around the intent and the emotional distress that the person wishes to deal with. Although anyone at all could be a self-harmer, Indigos are often at high risk because of their detachment from society. Anger, self-hate, fear, and sadness are things that indigos aren't always used to and frustrations are common with so many of them still considered 'lost'. School, work, and the general need fo people to conform to society often places indigos in an uncertain or frustrated position. Some have turned to self-harm for relief... If you self-harm or know someone who does then know that you are not alone.
|
|
|
Post by Laurel Chaisson on Aug 4, 2005 20:52:53 GMT -5
Self-injury basics • Most researchers agree that self injury (SI) is self-inflicted physical harm severe enough to cause tissue damage or marks that last for several hours, done without suicidal intent or intent to attain sexual pleasure. Body markings or modifications that are done as part of a spiritual ritual or for ornamentation purposes generally aren’t considered SI.
• SI generally is done as a way of coping with overwhelming psychophysiological arousal. This can be to express emotion, to deal with feelings of unreality or numbness, to make flashbacks stop, to punish the self and stop self-hating thoughts, or to deal with a feeling of impending explosion. SI is more about relieving tension or distress than is it about anything else.
• Although cutting is the most common form of SI, burning and head-banging are also very common. Other forms include biting, skin-picking, hair-pulling, hitting the body with objects or hitting objects with the body.
• SI is a crude, ultimately destructive coping mechanism, but it works. That’s why it sometimes seems to have addictive qualities. To help a client, you must offer more effective coping strategies as replacement. Learning these ways can take time; punishing a client or patient for coping in the only way he or she knows can make therapy unworkable.
• Most people who self-injure hate the term “self-mutilation.” That phrase speaks to intent and maiming the body is usually not the intent of SI anyway. Better terms are self-inflicted violence, self-harm, and self-injury.
|
|
|
Post by Laurel Chaisson on Aug 4, 2005 20:55:18 GMT -5
Why people self-injure Self-injury is probably the result of many different factors. Among them: • Lack of role models and invalidation — most people who self-injure were chronically invalidated in some way as children (many self-injurers report abuse, but almost all report chronic invalidation). They never learned appropriate ways of expressing emotion and may have learned that emotions are bad and to be avoided.
• Biological predisposition — evidence is accumulating that indicates self-injurers have specific problems within the brain’s serotonergic system that cause an increase in impulsivity and aggression. Impulsive aggression, combined with a belief that expressing it outwardly is unthinkably bad, might lead to the aggression being turned inward.
• Studies have suggested that when people who self-injure get emotionally overwhelmed, an act of self-harm almost immediately brings their levels of psychophysiological tension and arousal back to a bearable baseline level. In other words, they feel a strong uncomfortable emotion, don't know how to handle it, and know that hurting themselves will reduce the emotional discomfort quickly. They may still feel bad, but they don't have that panicky, jittery, trapped feeling.
Who is likely to self-injure • Self-injurers come from all walks of life and all economic brackets. People who harm themselves may be male or female; gay, straight, or bi; Ph.D.s or high-school dropouts; rich or poor; and live in any country in the world. Some people who SI manage to function effectively in demanding jobs; they are teachers, therapists, medical professionals, lawyers, professors, engineers. Some are on disability. Some are highly achieving high-school students.
• Their ages typically range from early teens to early 60s, although they may be older or younger. In fact, the incidence of self-injury is about the same as that of eating disorders, but because it's so highly stigmatized, most people hide their scars, burns, and bruises carefully. They also can have excuses to offer when someone asks about the scars (there are a lot of really vicious cats around).
• People who deliberately harm themselves are no more psychotic than people who drown their sorrows in a bottle of vodka are. It's a coping mechanism, just not one that's as understandable to most people and as accepted by society as alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating, anorexia, bulimia, workaholism, smoking cigarettes, and other forms of problem avoidance are.
• Self-injury is VERY RARELY a failed suicide attempt. People who inflict physical harm on themselves are often doing it in an attempt to maintain psychological integrity -- it's a way to keep from killing themselves. They release unbearable feelings and pressures through selfharm, easing their urge toward suicide. Some people who self-injure do later attempt suicide, but they almost always use a method different from their preferred method of self-harm. Selfinjury is a maladaptive coping mechanism, a way to stay alive. Unfortunately, some people don't understand this and think that involuntary commitment is the only way to deal with a person who self-harms. Hospitalization, especially forced, can do more harm than good.
|
|
|
Post by Laurel Chaisson on Aug 4, 2005 20:58:01 GMT -5
What helps people who self-injure? Medications (mood stabilizers, anxiolytics, antidepressants, and some of the newer neuroleptics) have been tried with some success. There is no magic pill for stopping self-harm (naltrexone, though effective in people with developmental disabilities, doesn’t seem to work nearly as well in other patients). Many therapeutic approaches have been and are being developed to help self-harmers learn new coping mechanisms and teach them how to use those techniques instead of self-injury. They reflect a growing belief among mental-health workers that once a client's patterns of self-inflicted violence stabilize, work can be done on the problems and issues underlying the self-injury.
This does not mean that patients should be coerced into stopping self-injury. Any attempts to reduce or control the amount of self-harm a person does should be based in the client's willingness to undertake the difficult work of controlling and/or stopping self-injury. Treatment should not be based on a practitioner's personal feelings about the practice of self-harm.
Self-injury brings out many uncomfortable feelings in people: revulsion, anger, fear, and distaste, to name a few. Medical professionals who are unable to cope with their own feelings about self-harm have an obligation to themselves and their clients to find a practitioner willing to do this work. In addition, they are responsible for ensuring that the client understands the referral is due to their own inability to deal with self-injury and not to any inadequacies in the client.
People who self-injure do generally do so because of an internal dynamic and not in order to annoy, anger or irritate others. Their self-injury is a behavioral response to an emotional state and is usually not done in order to frustrate caretakers. In emergency rooms, people with self-inflicted wounds are often told directly and indirectly that they are not as deserving of care as someone who has an accidental injury. They may be treated badly by the same doctors who would not hesitate to do everything possible to preserve the life of an overweight, sedentary heart-attack patient.
Doctors in emergency rooms and urgent-care clinics should be sensitive to the needs of patients who come in to have self-inflicted wounds treated. If the patient is calm, denies suicidal intent, and has a history of SI, the doctor should treat the wounds as they would treat accidental injuries. Refusing anesthesia for stitches, making disparaging remarks, and treating the patient as an inconvenient nuisance simply further the feelings of invalidation and unworthiness the self-injurer has. It is useful to offer mental-health follow-up services; however, psychological evaluations with an eye toward hospitalization should be avoided in the ER unless the person is clearly a danger to self or to others. In places where people know that seeking treatment for self-inflicted injuries are liable to lead to mistreatment and lengthy psychological evaluations, they are much less likely to seek medical attention for their wounds and thus are at a higher risk for wound infections and other complications.
©1999 by Deb Martinson. Reproduction and distribution of this material is enthusiastically encouraged, especially distribution to medical personnel.
|
|
|
Post by ne ws oci e ty on Aug 4, 2005 21:12:38 GMT -5
that's some good info, thanks! also it's great to hear from you, it's been a while.
|
|
|
Post by Laurel Chaisson on Aug 5, 2005 8:10:27 GMT -5
O____o; That's probably because I didn't write it! lol, see the compyright at the bottom of the last message... it includes all the messages (excluding the top one). I was thinking of writing something myself but I was just too lazy... and it's a delicate subject for me.
|
|
|
Post by Uriah on Aug 11, 2005 16:18:57 GMT -5
I know someone who injures themselves. Their life is very frustrating and they feel controlled to the point that they only want to rebel and don't care what their actions may do to others. I believe her to be an "indigo" and see much wisdom in her words but she feels so alone and unhappy. I try to help her and share my love and wisdom but she has been bombarded by this worlds' conditioning so much that I don't think she can believe all I tell her and all that she may be telling herself. She once told me that she hates seeing others happy because she herself is not so she wants to make them unhappy as well. She is only 13 and I know she will evolve much more and time may be her only healer but I feel there is something I can do and I try to show my love every time I am with her. Any thoughts?
|
|
|
Post by Uriah on Aug 11, 2005 16:31:42 GMT -5
I should add that I don't really know how to approach the situation. With all I know I'm not so sure what to say and how to help with a situation where someone so young injures themselves so they can take thier mind off of the emotional pain... it pains me so, so do I approach the situation in sympathy but I really don't know how they are feeling because I have never been so overwhelmed to the point where I tried to bury or hide the pain and hurt. I have set it aside and came back to it later with a clearer mind and heart but not like this...
|
|
|
Post by Laurel Chaisson on Aug 11, 2005 18:03:59 GMT -5
I found a pretty good list at selfharm.org to help support people who SI. - Remember that they are extremely distressed and that self-harm may be the only way they have of communicating their feelings.
- Allowing them to talk about how they feel is probably the most important thing you can do for them. Just feeling that someone is listening and that they are finally being heard can really help.
- Good listening is a skill. Always let the person finish what they are saying and, while they are talking, try not to be thinking of the next thing you are going to say.
- Be clear and honest about your feelings. Explain that their behaviour upsets you but that you understand it helps them to cope.
- Take them seriously and respect their feelings. Don't tease them or call them 'mad' or 'mental'.
- Don't blame them for hurting themselves. Try to avoid being critical even if you feel shocked by what they are saying. This may make them feel even more alone and prevent them talking to anyone else.
- Don't ask them to promise never to self-harm again. They may well do it again and then feel guilty about breaking their promises.
Some advice I would give is just to be open and ready to listen... express the desire to help her cope if you can and be there to support her if she ever needs anyone to help her tell someone else (a school councellor, a teacher, a doctor, her parents, etc...). She may or may not be ready to stop though... SI is a coping mechanism; she may not know of any other way to live with overwhelming feelings. It is also addictive for some... I would suggest you tell her about the BUS Web Board, a community that supports people who SI and their friends/family (that means you can join as well and ask for help there where more experienced people are, lol ^___^). It's a really great place and most people who feel uncomfortable talking about SI in real life, feel better about it online... I really reccomend it.
|
|
|
Post by Uriah on Aug 12, 2005 0:35:46 GMT -5
Thank you for the information and advice; I think it will be very helpful.
|
|
|
Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Aug 19, 2005 21:50:46 GMT -5
A healer's job, is too give the person they wish to heal the time and space to heal themselves.
Kiva
|
|
|
Post by Uriah on Aug 20, 2005 8:36:25 GMT -5
Wow, thanks Arya and Kiva, you both gave me a boost and reassured me about what I'm doing. Thanks
|
|
|
Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Aug 20, 2005 10:14:36 GMT -5
Uriah,
You are most welcome.
Kiva
|
|
line
Still Sleeping
Posts: 8
|
Post by line on Dec 14, 2005 23:40:47 GMT -5
Self-harm can also be caused when you try to avoid harming a person while in rage. Of course you can try and calm down by trying to concentrate on something different, but that way is relatively slow and can be totally useless when the rage is strong and you need to calm instantly in order not to harm people.
Usually i end up punching at a wall or an object which can cause none to medium wounds, but sometimes like the last time I end up breaking objects made from glass(windows, tables, etc..) and they can cause some serious damage.
I guess that the fact of me being Aries(also bull year or however they call it) adds a lot to the normal indigo rage and sometimes can be really uncontrolled, so i feel lucky that most of the times i even able to calm down or at least shift the object of my rage.
Sure. It doesn't sound that good at all, but I'm working on it and I'm able to control the situation more often.
I'd like to know if some of you also have that problem?
P.S. I guess i slipped off the topic heh
|
|
|
Post by rainydaygirl on Dec 15, 2005 10:59:31 GMT -5
Well, I self harm. I cut. I think the reason I do though stems more from issues as a child and trauma from that. Some of it could be from isolation too. Every body has a different reason though. From an insiders p.ov. those articles were very accurate, not a whole lot of people really get it.
|
|
line
Still Sleeping
Posts: 8
|
Post by line on Dec 15, 2005 11:05:40 GMT -5
what im trying to say is that self-harm reasons can be much deeper at times
|
|
|
Post by Shaelyn on Dec 15, 2005 11:16:17 GMT -5
well...I used to have problems with rage when I was younger. my bedroom door's stopper broke a long time ago, so one day I was so frustrated and enraged that I flung the door into the wall, and the knob left a nice little hole. I also once punched the wall in the hall outside my bedroom.
these happened long ago though...I don't seek my parent's approval or understanding anymore, so I don't get frustrated when I don't get it.
rainyday: if you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
|
|
|
Post by rainydaygirl on Dec 15, 2005 16:58:29 GMT -5
I had a lot of problems with rage when I was about 6 years old. I often wonder why that year of all years though. Do you think that certain factors can play into why you act the way you do at certain ages? Like, I guess what I'm thinking is that I had severe anger problems mostly at age 6, I don't know what I was so angry about, but that was the age my half-sister died. I never met her because she died before I was born but I've always felt a connection to her. Sometimes I think I was angry that she died at the age I was. I don't know if that even made any sense. Anyways I veered way off topic, I was just wondering.
|
|
|
Post by Shaelyn on Dec 16, 2005 13:15:42 GMT -5
hmm...that's interesting. really, I have no idea, but I see it as a possibility, sure.
|
|