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Post by radaeron on Oct 1, 2005 9:41:38 GMT -5
Ok, my waves of depression are nothing new to me. Every so often I get one of these uncontrollable bouts of it. Today I am in one such mood. So I start thinking about everything else that just makes it worse... I honestly don't know why I do it... And I know I really shouldn't be typing it out. Because I have no clue if I'll feel better or not. But I'll apologise up front for it. So yesterday I was feeling great. I've been thinking about why that was. Could've been because I was in college and with people/keeping busy or something else. I was thinking about auras and guides and just briefly scanning over everything I had discovered, and started trying to learn about. Of course, as I've said to some of you before I tend to doubt (or view from another point) my own statements and beliefs. Which probably isn't spiritually healthy to do regardless. I was reading a couple of books last night. First started reading about Auras, then Contacting your Spirit Guide by Sylvia Browne.. It all made a cool kind of sense and I just didn't put the book down until I finished it. So I popped the CD from this book into my player, and tried going along with the medititation. Following all of it through I have a few things which might be considered a discovery, and several things which make me doubt them in their entirety. In this medititation, I may well have met my guide. If it was, and not something created entirely by my imagination, then my guide appears to be a female, with brown hair. (I didn't get any name) Through this guided med. I was getting quite emotional. The thing I can liken it most to was.. Crying out of sheer bliss. As if I had spent my entire life in the dark to this person who had always been with me and finally just seen them. As soon as I came out of the medititation though, and my mind considered what had just occured, there is the single biggest doubt in my mind: Whether this was actually my guide, or something my mind just constructed. Oh how I'm plagued by my own doubts and self-questioning. This being said though, I consider trying to do the medititation again, but my mind already has catches set up. If I do it and find the same person, my mind shall probably conclude there is a chance it could be my guide, but may just be a maintained thought. If it is different, I shall be left without having any clue as to my guide. The problem I think I have most is that I'm too "earth bound" so to speak. I need something tangible for validation. Which could leave me permanently in the dark. Humm... (Edit: This probably belongs in emotional health... Sorry.. I wasn't thinking much )
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Post by luz18 on Oct 1, 2005 10:54:18 GMT -5
I know exactly how you feel.... God knows how many exercises and meditations i've done, and I just feel like i'm talking to myself and making up everything the whole time... But don't stress!! It's very normal to feel "earth bound" and want physical evidence of something (whether thorugh sight, or a strong feeling, etc.) I don't have any solutions or great advice...lol. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone Cheer up!!
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Post by radaeron on Oct 1, 2005 11:12:23 GMT -5
Thankyou Luz At least knowing its not just me with these doubts, suggesting its not actually happening... ... Even so. I wish I could control them. Letting my mind wander here there and everywhere often has valuable insights. But often has negative effects.
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Oct 1, 2005 11:34:17 GMT -5
James,
I understand what you are going through, and for a long time had that doubt. Then, I started to say you know what? Truth is Truth no matter who it's coming from.
Kiva
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Post by djgirlcherise on Oct 1, 2005 13:29:47 GMT -5
Hey Rad,
Thanks for opening up and baring your feelings. As a result of doing the chakra test, I was able to see my root chakra was under-activated. The root chakra sits between the anus and the genitals. It is the chakra that helps us to feel grounded on Earth. Touch your index fingers to your thumbs, and breath the word Lam. Snowflake obsidian is the stone most associated with the root chakra. Try this meditation, focus only on the breath, open your mouth wide, and breath the word Lam. And fun, fun, fun, check out a gem and rock store and get yourself some snowflake obsidian. Please keep me updated if you decide to take action. Good thoughts to you!
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Post by gemma on Oct 1, 2005 14:48:26 GMT -5
I don't feel well since days. I too have my usual depression. I feel alone (again ) My friend Eva isn't here for me, she wasn't a true friend. My heart aches. There was this job, the boss was an idiot, so no matter how much I wanted to get this job, I decided no to go there. My inner voice warned me and I listened to them. But right now I could cry. I need someone to warm me up, to give me a hug, I need some good words.
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Post by djgirlcherise on Oct 1, 2005 17:06:54 GMT -5
YOU ARE SPECIAL, Gemma.
Keep your chin up. If you fall off the horse of life, you have to get back on.
What kind of socks do pirates wear?
Arrrrrrgyle
A skeleton walks into a bar, he says to the bartender "Can I get a beer and a mop?"
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Post by radaeron on Oct 1, 2005 18:31:19 GMT -5
Thankyou all Kiva, I think you're right. Even if this truth is coming from an entirely wrong point, it seems right and thats all that really matters Cherise, There is actually a "New age" shop (I suppose it could be called that) in my town somewhere.. I'll have to find time to check it out. Gemma, well, we talked earlier and you said you felt better for the talk, so did I Arya, an interesting lesson to think about But I hope you feel better soon and find a good mood. Happiness is.. well. there's no great science to it I suppose (Although I'm sure someone has written a book on it ).. just happiness is better than alternatives
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Post by cherise on Oct 2, 2005 2:36:50 GMT -5
Here's more one-liners because I know you want to hear them.
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Oct 2, 2005 3:55:13 GMT -5
"Of course, as I've said to some of you before I tend to doubt (or view from another point) my own statements and beliefs. Which probably isn't spiritually healthy to do regardless." In fact, Rad, this is one of the healthiest things you can do. Without that analytical validation, how can we know what is real and what is nonsense? There is SO MUCH nonsense floating around in the spiritual part of the world that this is a very important thing you can do, to examine everything from a sensible view point. If something does not involve logic, even after you've researched a lot on it, then it is probably not true. Just because we don't commonly know the rules to the metaphysical realms does not mean that they (the rules) don't exist. I remember when I first started on my spiritual journey, I had so much self doubt. Did I ever tell you that I was almost an atheist once? I think I might have mentioned it. Well, I often have to struggle with that atheist mindset in the sense that I have a hard time throwing myself into things like spirit guides, fairies, etc. - but what I've noticed is that the more you pay attention, the more signs you start getting that there really is something there. Ask your spirit guide to leave you a feather somewhere that you'll find - see what happens. You may very well run across a feather in a week or so. These affirmations are what begin to build faith and confidence. You said that you're not sure if your spirit guide experience is real or if it could be your mind just conjuring something random. But what is the imagination? Where does it come from? Why would you see a brunette woman when what I see is a blond haired man? Why do we imagine them saying the things they do, or feel such an overwhelming emotional response to their presence? (I cried out of bliss after I first met my spirit guide too.) Skeptics always tell me that "Scientific studies have shown that people who have faith in God show more activity in the 'imagination' part of their brain." Atheists use this as an excuse to scoff. I use it as a key point. What is the imagination? I know that God exists, I could not explain to you what it is like to just know something without ever having seen it, but sometimes your heart is smarter than your head. If my use of the imagination helps me to communicate with my faith, and I could not deny the existence of God if it meant my own life, then what is this incredible thing called the imagination? Is it truly something we "make up" - or is "making something up" even possible? Perhaps everything in our imagination comes from a source, and perhaps that source is very closely connected to God, the spirit realms, and those things which are divine. A good friend once told me this: trust your intuition and not your logic. Intuition saves your life - logic once led society to believe the world is flat. Logic is purely based on experience and knowledge. Intuition comes from the heart and from God. When you finished your meditation, I'm sure for a few blissful minutes you were so elated, knowing of your spirit guide and what she looked like. Then logic started to kick in. Get rid of the logical ego, don't let it tempt you - why do you think there are so few spiritual people in the world? It is not an easy road to follow, especially when we have to fight against how we were brought up in society, but these doubts will fade as you find new confidence in yourself and your beliefs. Do more research, try more things, and soon you will see the hard evidence you're looking for. It is impossible on this road to seek and not find anything. In the end, you can only answer these questions for yourself, but the beautiful thing is that you already know the answer. It is listening to yourself that is so hard - sometimes things are not too good to be true.
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Post by radaeron on Oct 2, 2005 4:11:27 GMT -5
Thankyou Maiden You've given me a good few things to think about.
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Oct 4, 2005 21:28:09 GMT -5
Yes CM, we all know the answers ourselves, society just doesn't teach us to trust ourselves. It's funny because my Social Psychology says that Social psychology is not just intuition. However, I think he confuses intuition with common sense. I think a lot of scientists do. Also, in preparing for my GRE's I was reading that the people that make the test try to "fool" intuition by putting options that "look right" but aren't. I found this interesting because its impossible to fool intuition. I think what they ment was they were trying to get people to mis-intrepert their own intuitions about the answers.
Kiva
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