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Post by radaeron on Nov 12, 2005 17:17:40 GMT -5
As I'm writing this my parents, and their guests are still downstairs doing god knows what. I felt it was important to make a note of these thoughts, and thought why not have them here as I'm sure some of you have useful insights. ... This is partially for my own emotional venting, I just hope I feel better when I'm done. The main topics that were drifted through: -Homosexuality -The circular pattern the past seems to generate, even though it becomes redundant. (Okay this is more what was going on in my head than what was talked about) -Prejudice, and "hate crimes" It was a difficult evening... I am open-minded, or at least like to be under the illusion that I am. But, these four people are all middle-aged and therefore had childhoods in an earlier age. Both women are Irish, and grew up in rural Ireland, where the catholic church was basically the dominating power. And so everyone did as the Church said. (In essence at least.) So they have an imprinted ideal that "Homosexuality IS wrong!" I understand this, I mean, all humans are essentially conditioned by their childhood, what their parents teach them, what their elders teach them (Albeit through worded instruction or action, I'm sure most of you will understand that children do what they see adults do, because it is considered acceptable. Basically a case of Monkey See Monkey Do. It is my belief all of us are subjected to this ) The problem I have though is this, I have basically taken what I required from what I was taught, kept what I thought was valuable or "right" and altered or got rid of what I thought was "wrong", I think we all develop on our own belief system (or Morals, if you wish) I ended up in the belief homosexuality is fine, I mean, its a decision made by the person, no one (in my view) has the right to say "You are wrong, you are a bad person and shouldn't be allowed to do this" If my best friend turned around and said "Hey, I'm gay" then I wouldn't think of them any different, I'm basically speaking from experience. A mate of my brother who I talk to from time to time turned out to be gay, I don't think of him any different. The problem I had though is why some people WOULD have a problem. I think.. The biggest problem I have is trying to convince others my way is the "right" way to think. But you can't change someones beliefs, unless you are their parents or a big influence in their life. Only the person themself can do that. Ai ya.. There is a lot about this world I don't understand, I don't understand why some people can be prejudiced.. I haven't thought entirely on this.. I will have to give it a lot of thought, but I have a bad feeling I will come up without the full house. I seem to be finding a lot of dead ends in this maze. I think I might just have to leave it, because part of me thinks its a lost cause, and people are just going to be with their prejudices forever..
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Post by radaeron on Nov 12, 2005 17:58:07 GMT -5
.. And to top it off I've had a slightly startling experience. I recall a few years ago (More like 5, I think I was 12) I caught my mother having a spliff. Being 12, and being brought up to belief drugs were bad, and finding the one person who told me repeatedly drugs were bad using them, was quite a startling experience. (Okay, so I was in tears.) I've just now, after having had this thought provoking night, gone down to see my father, because I could feel how tense he was at some parts during the night. He told me about it, how he didn't like my mothers closed mind attitude about homosexuality, i don't know.. this has been an eventful night. (And something else just happened I'll get to eventually) So I went back upstairs after hearing a prolonged (over 10 minutes) series of thuds from upstairs. I open the 'rents bedroom door, flick on the light to see my mother, in a blanket, with her high heels on, on the floor, saying she can't get to sleep. This again, was an disturbing experience (No tears this time, just a sort of "Typical" subtext in my head.) So my mother is pissed out of her skull, and my father is upset about the whole night (For which he did all the cooking I might add.) and generally frustrated with her. I feel so badly for my dad. I love him so much, and I hate to see him so annoyed. It's like, he's ALWAYS had to be the super-responsible-sensible one. Don't get me wrong I love my mother too, but when it comes to counting on people my dad always gets the short stick. Hmmm. Too many circumstances to consider. Anyway, to whats just happened.. My mother, quietly calling out my name, so I come out of my room and see her bent over the toilet (Again, I get the subtext "Typical") .. so I try and help, cursing in foreign languages the whole way... Ai ya.. .. It's strange, these things seem to be culminating.. I hope they'll be okay. I decide to change this from interesting night, to, bad night...
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deedee
Awakened
"It takes a fool to remain sane, in this world all covered up in shame"
Posts: 82
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Post by deedee on Nov 13, 2005 11:46:54 GMT -5
radaeron: *hugs* don't have the time to write a real answer right now, but I'll do that tonight when I'm back from practise.
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Post by djgirlcherise on Nov 13, 2005 12:36:39 GMT -5
Hi Rad,
I like to gently offer my interpretation.
I think the word "homosexuality" is just a generalized talking point. It doesn't really have any meaning. You could replace the word "homosexuality" with the word "war", "abortion", or "religion", or "politics", or "marijuana". Any number of these words will pretty much get the same response in a rigid environment. Secrets...
Just change the words. Find ways around the language that raise awareness.
Ultimately, people feel threatened. Your parents come from a generation where they were told that hard work, working more, and working more still, conservative family values, and the support and unquestioned trust of the government or religion were the keys to the doors of salvation and a good life.
This entire generation is breaking those theories down. We are changing the awareness through our love for the secrets of what our parents are all about. It scares them to the core because they fear they will lose something.
It's irrational, but it's the main contributing factor of negative energy in the world. Fear of loss.
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Post by radaeron on Nov 13, 2005 12:53:23 GMT -5
Cherise, thankyou for your post, but my main focus wasn't specifically homosexuality.. I didn't really make it clear but I was reeling from the evening. You're right, it is interchangeable with any of those things, and most of those were brought up too. I think its just about the evolution of the general outlook on the world. It's definately a strange thing to think about, how the way we're brought up has just allowed us to see everything in an entirely different light (And what I think of as, viewing it for what it is. Not creating propaganda around it or laws and restrictions) Dee, *hugs back* thankyou
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Post by djgirlcherise on Nov 13, 2005 12:59:08 GMT -5
Hey Rad,
Ultimately, though, don't you think it's exciting? To step outside of the centre and see it for what it is?
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Post by radaeron on Nov 13, 2005 15:24:14 GMT -5
Oh I take that for granted really I don't like stepping IN to see why other people see things the way they do (A strong word, but bigots and the like really. Who have an irrational dislike of someone/something) But yes, it is a nice feeling I suppose, .Hmm.. I'll have to think on this
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deedee
Awakened
"It takes a fool to remain sane, in this world all covered up in shame"
Posts: 82
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Post by deedee on Nov 13, 2005 16:14:15 GMT -5
now I'm back my thoughts on prejudice is that they always tend to develop when one decides to divide people or animals in "we" and "them". some of my friends for example who eat meat, still see cows, pigs etc as "them", in short they focus on the differences and forget about the many smiliarities that humans share with other animals, and because of this they don't really care about that the pork they're eating once was a pig that lived under very lousy conditions, often cramped in a box full of other pigs, and then suffered from a stressful transport before it was first gassed and then killed..etc so when I try to make people change attitude towards something, or to broaden their minds, I try to point out the similarities. This way the line between "we" and "them" gets more and more blurred until it's all a big "oneness". think that the "we" and "them" mentality develops as a substitute for real self confidence and insecurity. my parents too have some prejudice against homosexuals because they were brought up in Iran, difficult for me as I can't tell them everything about myself until I've moved and found a place of my own. but I don't think that people are going to be with their prejudices for ever.. my parents are in fact slowly abandoning their old cultural beliefs and replacing them with the values of Falun Gong. I too feel sorry for my dad, not because of the sam e reason as you do but because my mum tends to pick on him whenever she's in a bad mood.. and that's quite often seems like a rough night hope you'll have a much nicer tomorrow.
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Post by Shaelyn on Nov 18, 2005 0:21:10 GMT -5
but here's some food for thought:
it doesn't matter that these people believe it is wrong. if they believe it is wrong, that is their choice. it is ok for other people to believe that something is wrong, even if you know that it is not wrong. it is a part of the progression of the soul...just as everything is. Just, on this one point- I believe anyway -your soul has progressed more than theirs. Nothing wrong with that. Let them catch up...and know that it will take a great deal of time for them to catch up. Give them the benefit of your patience. It may not even be within this lifetime that they realize that there is nothing wrong with these choices other people make. That's ok...the same freewill that allows these people to make these choices gives other people the choice to believe that the choices made by others are "wrong."
Ah the complicated web we weave! LOL. Anyway...that's just my take on it.
...bah I wrote all that before I caught the second half of your post...oooops...I'm not re-writing it though to make it apply better lol. So, then I know that's probably not quite what your parents see out of it...and so it probably doesn't help your situation anyway. I can't really offer much advice here except to be patient and full of love...I somehow get the impression that there's not much that can be done anyway.
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Post by radaeron on Nov 18, 2005 12:21:51 GMT -5
Your words have helped Shae ^_^ Thankyou. And thankyou again everyone else ^_^ I love you all.
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Post by Shaelyn on Nov 18, 2005 13:20:06 GMT -5
^_^ love ya too, glad to help
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Nov 29, 2005 12:45:05 GMT -5
Well Rad,
I think a good thing to learn from all of this is that no matter how much you love someone, you just can't change them. I've ran into that a lot in my life so far and I'm only 17. If I could, I would change my atheist family and make them understand the beauty I have in my life with my faith, but they will never fully accept or understand me, and they will never change their minds. It's a hard road to learn to accept and love people for who they are, no matter what their shortcomings or ideals.
I don't know what kind of drugs your mom was doing, "spiff" isn't a common term here, but I have smoked pot and of all the drugs it's the least offensive I'd say. The difference between marijuana and just about anything else is like comparing an ant to a beehive, I mean it's really just completely different. Smoking pot I'd say is about the same as getting slightly drunk, even less than when one is fully drunk.
I don't believe in coincidence, and I really feel like you were given your family so you can learn from them. It's like you were given the two extremes - you have your father to help show you what is right for you, and your mother to show you how bad things can get. Maybe it will give you some peace to look at their souls instead of what is on the outside; your mother is trapped with an addiction (I'm guessing) and close minded attitude, but when we get to heaven, it is all stripped away and all we are is ourselves without the added mentalities that life gives us. So look at who she is on the inside and try to value your parents for that, because I'm sure that if they are still together then they are good people and love you more than anything in the world.
We all have our bad nights. =) *hug* At least it's only a night, right? ^_^
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Post by radaeron on Nov 29, 2005 13:13:01 GMT -5
Oh no no it's not an addiction. It was only that one time I know of. And I would've known if she'd had it again. I think I just brought it up because it was a powerful event in my life and I think I needed to vent it:P I don't believe in coincidence either. I'm happy I have this family. I think just needed to vent. I couldn't really say which parent has done more for me though They both have good and bad points, as well all do. I'm just glad I'm where I am. Anyway what is life without some emotional baggage But thankyou CM ^^
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