|
Post by liquidchild on May 4, 2006 2:30:17 GMT -5
Hey all Just recently I have noticed that my outbursts of intense emotion in day-to-day life has increased, just in the last 2 weeks. The outbursts usually dont last long, ranging from 10-60 minutes of intense depression and rage, followed by a quick "bracing" back to reality. It sort of feels like when you around someone who has alot of anger, you can feel it almost morphing off their aura and spewing onto you, and you hope they dont look at you, but then they turn around explode and yell "rahhh!!!!!" and scream at you, and your just like "ahhhhhhh". lol That feeling! I get that sometimes, but in the last 2 weeks, i've had (according to my mental notes) atleast one per day, sometimes 3-5 and many havnt been related to viscious personalities, alot have been just from day-to-day dilemmas like car problems, friendships etc. I understand that when you are sensitive as a person that these things are part of life... however what strikes me as perculiar with these recent developments, is the intense frequency (happening all the time now), and the total lack of control I had in preventing them. In my mind I often recreate the scenario to try and understand what happened. For example, a busted car tire, an ex gf emailing, paycheck delays.... In these moments I zone out, and watch my normally somewhat subjective ego, from a completely objective (or remote) perspective, I watch it squirm and scream, almost as if im floating above it. My observer viewpoint just disconnects and says, "damn! I am not reconnecting myself to you mR ego untill that blast wave has settled." I just kinda sit there staring into nothing (or continuing the conversation if its with a person) waiting for my energy to stabilise and peace to return. It usually takes no more than an hour. Then sooner or later, something happens and bang im charging with fear and rage again. It could be just coincidentally the period of events im going through though. I cant help but wonder, if anyone else is experiencing a rise in outbursts lately. *scratches head*
|
|
|
Post by pearldancer on May 4, 2006 3:33:16 GMT -5
This might help a little. I know reading this and What's Up on Planet Earth have been keeping me sane. It's always a big PHEW to read it's not just you! ;D www.starchildascension.org/starchild/may2006.htmlYou will find, dearest Lightworkers, that as Humanity moves forward into this new manifestation, that there will be much tumult. Big changes do create waves of confusion and uncertainty. In the Collective Consciousness, these waves of change are creating intense anxiety and stress for those who have no real understanding of the inner and outer processes at work here, and these feelings are being translated into panic, aggression and increasing "hysteria" in many people. Many Lightworkers who are sensitive are feeling these emotions as they surge through the group unconscious like a tidal wave. In many cases, these emotions are being set off by past life memories of the Loss of Atlantis and Lemuria that have been triggered by the Dimensional Shifts that the Earth has experienced, and by pre-conditioned programming regarding the "end of the world" that is being manipulated and played out by many for their own purposes right now.
|
|
|
Post by Sáille on May 4, 2006 3:40:47 GMT -5
I am constantly doubting my own good judgments. I run into people who operate out of their ego, and all people who need to do something for me (apart from friends, parents and teachers) to make my life better only care about money and "the rules" this government's made up.
Frustration is rising here too. I just can't have outbursts like you... but I'm having them on the inside and that's too much to control...
|
|
|
Post by Dimensional Leaf on May 4, 2006 3:48:35 GMT -5
Hi Brendan! There's alot of change manifesting as we speak. New, higher vibrating energy create ripples globally. Mood swings are usual, and the more sensitive we are, the bigger extent of this can we grasp. There is always a choice of how to react on what we made our reality. As you say, it is possible to observe what screams so for control and its own way. I've found it helps to release it by spending time meditating, being in nature, or expressing your gratitude for what is coming by painting, writing, dancing, singing or playing music. Expressing what is closest to you. And following our hearts and have fun can be the new ways of being cool.
|
|
|
Post by gemma on May 4, 2006 5:03:30 GMT -5
Meh... In these last days I also had outbursts. I usually have moodswings and they are very-very bad. I feel like a pregnant woman. It is good to hear that others suffer from it too. (Sorry)
I was angry with my parents, with the whole world, the tiniest things could make me very angry and I was so embittered and wanted to cry but I was too tired and bitter to cry. So, listen to the other's advices, they can give you some good points. Head up, brother, you're not alone. *hugs*
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 4, 2006 5:09:06 GMT -5
I just get waves of despair and insecurity (like now) where I constantly doubt my judgement, my intuition and everyone else's good intentions. Good to know it's not only me.
*hugs everyone*
|
|
|
Post by gemma on May 4, 2006 7:18:44 GMT -5
Right now I am totally depressed. I'll have a birthday. The 25th. I wanted to ask my brother if he wants to invite some friends of his (because I have none ---> in this sh*tty little village there isn't any girl and my brother's friends are from another village) I didn't want to be alone on my birthday. Don't misunderstand, I don't wanna have a party or a celebration... I just wanted people around me. I am always alone. I am unemployed and I am always home, doing the house-work and I am constantly alone, 'cause if someone arrives at home, they don't have any time to speak to me, so now wonder that I am practically mute. In the three daays while I'm off in a far town into a college, I speak so much that my voice always becomes hoarse But when I am home *sigh*, I can speak to no-one. My family is alway busy. I feel like a lonely island in the middle of my family. So I asked my dearest brother about his friends... or at least I tried to ask him but when I told him: "If you have time I'd speak to you..." his answer was: "What the fuck do you want this time?" Later I could ask him but this time he didn't allowed me to finish my question , he simply cut me short by telling me: "I won't go anywhere with you". He even didn't listen to what I had to say! And however I could ask him, he answered me "They aren't so stupid to come here" If I had any money I could move into the town and search myself a job. But to have money, I would need a job. Evil circle. Sometimes I find casual work... like the one was by the old hag who called her family and told them that I beat her up. So you see, I cannot speak to anybody. My only companion in the everyday life are my dogs and the forest. I am alone, and they are busy.
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 4, 2006 7:35:12 GMT -5
Ow Gemma *hugs bugs* I know how it feels to be the silent one but that's usually only around my friends... never my family... and never that bad. Still, you're a May girl which means you're special ^-^ and we should have a party for you here, even though I know virtual parties are never the same.
|
|
|
Post by radaeron on May 4, 2006 11:21:33 GMT -5
Hmm.. In an attempt to give another scientific explanation, only possible mind. It could be due to a lack of hormone release that calm and relax people. To put it bluntly. Has there been a dry spell of release.. ahem.. down there? Buildup of testosterone can cause violent outbursts, and volatile mood swings, as far as I know at least.
|
|
|
Post by Sáille on May 4, 2006 12:11:29 GMT -5
*hugs everyone*
Rad, you make me giggle. ^-^ I've just had my week of hormonal instability so with me it is more a current state of mind than anything else.
I think we all need positive affirmations. ;D
|
|
|
Post by pearldancer on May 4, 2006 12:18:44 GMT -5
AHHH HA HA HA ;D
LOL Radaeron. . . . I think she answered that in the I LOVE JIMMY thread
|
|
|
Post by radaeron on May 4, 2006 12:26:49 GMT -5
Eef, well forgive me..
Without the male/female symbol in the left, and with an avatar of a guy, and with my bad memory, let's be fair, I was allowed to be mistaken if it was a guy ^_^;;
|
|
|
Post by pearldancer on May 4, 2006 12:37:01 GMT -5
what . .you don't think women are similarly affected. .. .now now. . . let's not be sexist ;D We all know female hormones are at least as dangerous as testosterone
|
|
|
Post by radaeron on May 4, 2006 12:42:20 GMT -5
Well I was apologising for simple terminology mistakes Not sure if its estrogen or what that causes it.. But I'm sure there is something that does a similar effect..
|
|
|
Post by gemma on May 4, 2006 13:35:43 GMT -5
You mean, we should masturbate in order to keep our mood-swings at minimum?!...
|
|
|
Post by Dimensional Leaf on May 4, 2006 13:42:56 GMT -5
I think we should try to get an equilibrium of all functions. To express what is inside is important.
I think it is different, and each person must look into themselves to find what is needed manifestation.
|
|
|
Post by radaeron on May 4, 2006 13:55:04 GMT -5
You mean, we should masturbate in order to keep our mood-swings at minimum?!... I'm not saying there aren't other ways. My mood swings are fairly minimal, but I relax a lot, avoid getting stressed, listen to relaxing music, etc. etc. *Begins thought-train* I tend to be fairly relaxed. It could be about satisfying mental/emotional and physical needs. The body needs lots of things. The mind needs lots of things. Some of these are just things like, desire for food or desire for 5 minutes peace and quiet. Can it be helped the body might desire a sexual release? Perhaps its simply combined things of Self-Preservation and Pro-Creation for the mind and body.. *Shrug* *End thought-train* But no I'm not saying you must do it to be relaxed! There's probably no correct rule to keep relaxed. Way I figure it, just find things that make you happy, and do it. If playing guitar makes someone happy, they should do it every now and then. If masturbating makes someone happy, they should do it every now and then. *Shrug* To each their own! As they say.
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 4, 2006 20:18:50 GMT -5
hehe, funny funny.. ;D OMG pearldancer I definitely feel alot more sane now, thankyou.. you can be sure I will be checking back to that website often! I didnt know it was there D leaf what you have said is true. Particularly with the nature bit. I have just moved back with my parents and find there is a tendency to just lay in bed all tense when I could be going outside for a walk. Its so sunny outside. Muirrin its so like that sometimes hey... You will go to msg a friend, but then you question your intuition, should I, should I..., thats what I get anyway...? Althri, yes! positive affirmations are good Sexual release, lol I never thought of that. I dont think it is that though, I do alot of physical training which releases endorphins and chills me out. Gemma I feel the same as you. My circumstances are almost like the opposite. I want to get away from my family. My dad cannot leave the house because he has alzeimers disease. He is always hanging around me, talking mindlessly and harassing me. He doesnt even realise he is doing it. I catch him talking bad about me to his friend (one and only I assure you) sometimes, or sometimes I see him smiliing and grinning when he sees me crying when Im with mum. I think its sadistic. Really stupid things like that. He is sick. I constantly say things like "I cant live here" or "Please, help". Sometimes I am scared to go home. But I always end up comming home because I have nowhere else to sleep. I am too proud to ask friends for a bed, most of them live with parents anyway. I have a dream which keeps my fire burning. It will be in a few months that I will have saved enough money to buy a motorbike and rent my own place. I am going to move to another city and start my life from scratch.
|
|
|
Post by musicman on May 4, 2006 20:42:02 GMT -5
Hey brendan, sorry to hear about your dad having alzehimers. My uncle had alzehimers and recently passed away. It's such a debilitating disease. Too many good people are diagnosed with it.
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 5, 2006 2:19:40 GMT -5
That's exactly it, Brendan! Or me looking at a CD thinking, I want this, it's at a fairly decent price, I should get it... or maybe I shouldn't... although my indecision is usually related to the emotions of people close to me. As for the home and family situation, that sucks... I think I'd be the same - going crazy because I need to get out for good, but too proud to ask for favours. I wish I could offer you some advice but I have nothing Just focus on the dream, I guess... a bike and your own space sounds wonderful.
|
|
|
Post by gemma on May 5, 2006 3:01:07 GMT -5
*hugs Brendan strongly*
Thank you for telling us your story. It is good to know that I am not alone. My life is even better than yours! I wish you every good to fulfill your dreams and I hope you'll write us soon from your own home.
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 2:18:15 GMT -5
Thankyou guys
The sun is setting as I speak, its beautiful
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 6, 2006 2:28:54 GMT -5
Wish I could see it... I have buildings in the way One day I saw it setting on the CityCat (ferry that goes up and down part of the Brisbane River) and THAT was lovely.
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 2:42:50 GMT -5
I always wanted to go on one of those things! They usually have catering and everything.
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 6, 2006 2:51:22 GMT -5
The CityCat has catering? not the ones I go on! lol... it's such a relaxing way to travel, and it's on water ^-^
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 3:18:45 GMT -5
Water can be so soothing. Especially the beach. I really feel the salt air clean my lungs, the salt water clean my skin and the waves soothe my soul. Its going to be too cold to go soon though!
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 6, 2006 4:02:00 GMT -5
Water's my element so it's always so calming and cleansing even to walk by the lake on the way to uni... I love Brisbane because it rains more than in my hometown, and it's closer to the coast. Nothing like sea air, either!
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 4:10:40 GMT -5
Fully, brisbane is a great city in so many ways. I have "thin blood" because im half asian (fillipino), so any southern cooler cities like Syd and Melb are a bit too indoor for me. And ofcourse, theres not much culture in anywhere other than the cities.
|
|
|
Post by muirrin on May 6, 2006 8:01:17 GMT -5
The only downside for me is the crowds... I'm so used to my 10 000-people town or a somewhat larger city, but apart from a brief stint in Canberra (ski trip) Brissie's the largest place I've ever been, and the crowds in Queen St Mall can get pretty frightening at times. But I still love living here, especially here at the uni ^-^ My friend from home is half-Fillipino too!! Mum's half-Italian, my "quarterness" is about as exotic I get
|
|
|
Post by liquidchild on May 6, 2006 20:37:53 GMT -5
Thats awesome Crowds are scaryyyyyy! Its hard to register all the busy bodies!
|
|