prUuf
Remembering
Posts: 229
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My dad
Jun 22, 2007 15:09:33 GMT -5
Post by prUuf on Jun 22, 2007 15:09:33 GMT -5
some people don't want to change or be changed. accept him simply as he is (what you resist persists). even if he's an asshole, insecure or has a needieness to power, that's ok, let him be. tell him all is ok. don't be sorry for this thread it is great , you're not victim and you can choose at anytime if that what he does upsets you or not. don't give away your power. this inner game will empower you: laurelchaisson.proboards34.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=general&thread=1150545221&page=1the rifts in families are not nice but that's how it is in most of them. I hope you don't project the "MAN Behavior" of your father on to other men that wouldn't be fair, especially when they're nice and sweet. i know everyone likes to have a dad but if he is abusive or else we have to be open to stop the relationship. try this. next time simply say to him when he shouts that "it is ok". or "all is OK, I have no argument with you". it is the victim victimizer blame game which is deeply embedded in the dna of each of us, it has several levels. it's happening on an unsconscious basis regularly. your dad is propably not truly aware of what he is doing. it's a hard gig here on planet earth at the moment.
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My dad
Jun 23, 2007 5:56:30 GMT -5
Post by jeremy on Jun 23, 2007 5:56:30 GMT -5
To me it seems like you'll get on with your father a lot better once you've moved out and you can be at your parents' house as a guest instead of as their child. Of course they'll still probably tell you things they think you should do but they're more likely to realise that it's really up to you what you do and don't do. Until that time comes you have whatever support I can give you.
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My dad
Jul 17, 2007 11:27:50 GMT -5
Post by elieria on Jul 17, 2007 11:27:50 GMT -5
Is it possible that your father was treated like this by one of his parents and so it's the only way that he knows how to treat you? Maybe he never got enough emotional support when he was a child... Not that this makes all of his parenting methods okay but it certainly helps if we can understand why are parents are the way they are. I sort of know how you feel... my dad can be a bit of a workaholic and when he comes home he sometimes tries to treat my brother and me as if we were his employees... but I think he's getting better with age. You have my support, too, Kitty.
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ssyn
Remembering
Posts: 114
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My dad
Jul 17, 2007 15:09:16 GMT -5
Post by ssyn on Jul 17, 2007 15:09:16 GMT -5
I think he lacks commitment in executing things that he says.. Tell him the next time he apologizes to act on it, and not do it again unless you do something worth being yelled at for.. which you probably won't.
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