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Post by Shaelyn on Oct 20, 2005 13:21:02 GMT -5
I just wanted to see what you guys felt about love.
At first I had felt that there was a different love for every type of relationship...then I had a theory: that was all in our head, that society kinda has us believe that. So I challenged myself to believe in the theory for while and see where it took me...and now I'm hella confused, LOL! So I wanted to see what ya'll think.
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Post by radaeron on Oct 20, 2005 13:31:22 GMT -5
All of my relationships have a different kind of love. Everyone is unique, when combined with another unique person, the bond is entirely unique aswell. And never again will there be one like it. Which is why I treasure most bonds I have when I think about them ^^ Just my subjective for ya ^^
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Post by evolutions_son on Oct 20, 2005 13:55:29 GMT -5
I would like to add an option.
There is only 1 love, but it is experienced and expressed in many different ways.
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Post by shepardess on Oct 20, 2005 14:06:12 GMT -5
It would seem to me that the emotion or conection that we call love is essentially the same power in all cases, that is of course if the emotion is pure and not laden with neediness or the desire to be needed and so on.
I think that the distinguishing feature in relationships that makes them all unique is not in the actual loving but in connections you share with every different individual.
I have held equally powerful love for Men and Women, and friends and lovers, the difference has been in what we shared, in what we got and recieved from one another, not in the emotion itself.
I think that with different people we share greater portioning of our love with them based on thier relative significance in our life. Thats why the love of a partner or a parent seems so much more important than the love you hold for a distant friend.
The added intencity of sex can make love seem greater or very different, but I think it really just makes it fuller. Its just another kind of connection with another soul that is one of the most intence connections individuals can hold, but I still think that love essentially is the same feeling. But as I said, I think what is different and unique is the relationships themselves not the love.
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Oct 20, 2005 21:15:05 GMT -5
Steve,
You bring up an interesting point. Is there 1 love that is experienced in different ways or are there many loves experienced in different situations or both?
Thanks for bringing this up,
Kiva
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Post by radaeron on Oct 21, 2005 4:52:21 GMT -5
Steve, You bring up an interesting point. Is there 1 love that is experienced in different ways or are there many loves experienced in different situations or both? Thanks for bringing this up, Kiva Either way I think the general appearance to us is the same. It makes them feel unique. To be honest love to me is a word. Every connection is different. I don't really think I have some general source of love that I change and fit for a connection. Just different feelings ya know.
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Post by Uriah on Oct 21, 2005 12:02:06 GMT -5
Love to me is like light from a cystal it all comes from the same source. From each angle the light is different. The love is different for each connection or relationship but it all stems from the same source so is the same but not.
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Post by radaeron on Oct 21, 2005 12:09:42 GMT -5
Love to me is like light from a cystal it all comes from the same source. From each angle the light is different. The love is different for each connection or relationship but it all stems from the same source so is the same but not. An interesting way to put it. I like that.
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Post by Shaelyn on Oct 22, 2005 0:42:03 GMT -5
Love to me is like light from a cystal it all comes from the same source. From each angle the light is different. The love is different for each connection or relationship but it all stems from the same source so is the same but not. An interesting way to put it. I like that. indeed...
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Post by jeremy on Oct 22, 2005 4:12:07 GMT -5
I don't feel exactly the same about any two people, but the love I feel for people is the same feeling for everyone. What turns one relationship into a friendship and another into a romance is not the feeling in my case but what choices are made, how it seems right to express it, etc.
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Post by indigirl on Oct 22, 2005 16:03:53 GMT -5
I said that all my relationships have a different kind of love. While I believe that love is love and it all stems from the same place, the different people that I care about all put their own spin on the love that I feel for them. But it is very confusing when I really think about it, because usually the main thing that brings me to realize that I love a person is how I feel when I'm with them. But love is love, and it's the most wonderful thing a person can experience, so it really doesn't matter to me whether my relationships all have their own type of love, or whether it's the same when it comes down to it. *Whew* I just talked myself in circles
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Post by gemma on Oct 25, 2005 8:48:19 GMT -5
Love doesn't exist. It is just the instinct of caring about someone.
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Post by luz18 on Oct 25, 2005 10:05:21 GMT -5
Gemma, why do you not believe that love exists? For to even have an instinct of caring, there must be some kind of foundation of love.... no matter how small it is... Please tell me more about your views...
~Luz
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Post by gemma on Oct 25, 2005 12:30:48 GMT -5
So, I was never in love, I don't belive that such a feeling exists. My father and I we love each other very much but altogether he is the only one whom I love. And my mother... let's just say, she isn't a best mother. And I love my dog. That's all. I am unable to love. I love the nature, the animals, the Earth, the sky, but that's all.
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Post by Uriah on Oct 25, 2005 12:33:47 GMT -5
It sounds like there is love in your life and plenty of it. Love doesn't have to be and isn't always romantic love. Love is what it is, if something makes you smile or makes you feel warm inside that is all the love you need. It is always there surrounding us and flowing through us.
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Post by djgirlcherise on Oct 25, 2005 15:10:20 GMT -5
Hi Gemma,
I believe you will experience a new love within a year's time. I noticed your birthday is coming up. Would it be okay to post your birthdate in the prime number topic?
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Post by Shaelyn on Oct 25, 2005 22:29:21 GMT -5
So, I was never in love, I don't belive that such a feeling exists. My father and I we love each other very much but altogether he is the only one whom I love. And my mother... let's just say, she isn't a best mother. And I love my dog. That's all. I am unable to love. I love the nature, the animals, the Earth, the sky, but that's all. Unable to love? I don't think so. No one is unable to love, not even me after all the manipulation, abuse, and heartache I've been through. ...Don't know how? perhaps. You said your mother isn't a best mother...did she not love you? If she didn't, that may explain why it's so hard for you to love...if we don't learn how to love from our parents, where else do we learn? ...are you scared to love? scared of being hurt, maybe? Sorry for the attempt of a psycho-analysis. It's one of my hobbies. ...does any of that seem right to you? ...I hope someone can help you love.
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Post by gemma on Oct 26, 2005 4:01:47 GMT -5
Would it be okay to post your birthdate in the prime number topic? No, I won't post it. I don't believe in numerology, but thanks.
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Post by gemma on Oct 26, 2005 4:17:57 GMT -5
You said your mother isn't a best mother...did she not love you? ...are you scared to love? scared of being hurt, maybe? My mother was never there for me, all she said was that I was a big problem for the family. She looks at me as if I were a nuisance in their life. No, she doesn't says and she claims even for herself that it isn't true, but I am not stupid! Of course I feel it. She often gives me little gifts. She feels guilty about not loving me. Scared to love? No. Yesterday I was chatting with some friends of mine (girls) I told them that I am afraid of men, I always dream about being taken by a man and it hurts so much. So they asked me if I could fall for a woman. I answered no. I hope that I am not a lesbian. I have a blog and it happens so often that a boy writes me, and makes compliments about my inner beauty. They fall for me, they wanna meet me and after they see my photo or meet me, they don't wanna hear about me anymore. There was a time when I tried to make a relationship with a man. He wanted to meet me. I was so eager to meet him, but suddenly I was scared and I cried and wrote him an SMS, telling him that he should find another girl and I am sorry. Yesterday we tried to solve my problem. My friends (two girls) guess that there was something in my life which made me shy about the bodily contact. I don't like hugs, I hate kisses. My mother is often half-naked and caresses her breasts. It is a disturbing sight. There was a time when she pretended to give me a hug but instead of it she caressed boldly my breasts. She often called me "big-teated" I told it my father and he stopped her. So they asked me if I could bear a hug of a man. I told, yes, I could bear it for a while, and I love the hugs of my father. They told me that I mustn't search after my father in the men. After it they asked me if I could bear the hug of a woman. I thinked after it and answered: no. One of them is psycho-analyst. She told me that it was the sign of autism. I told her that on a paper from a hospital there was written that I showed signs of autism. The next step for me is.... to write a letter a boy who wants to befriend me. They will support me, and they said that letter isn't bodily contact yet. And that I should write him. So I'll write him. I feel well in my own world but they say (and I feel) that I must take some steps outside.
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Post by radaeron on Oct 26, 2005 11:10:43 GMT -5
I'm afraid I don't have anything useful to help Gemma, I'll just hope and send out good thoughts that it all works out well for you. I'm sure it will though
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Post by evolutions_son on Oct 26, 2005 15:15:34 GMT -5
Gemma,
The only thing that I can say at this moment is this. Before you can make any relationship work with either a man or a woman, you must make the relationship with yourself work first. You must come to love yourself. See yourself for the beauty that is you. If you don't love yourself then you will (consciously or unconsciously) sabatoge your relationships and then believe you were never meant to be happy, etc.
I male friend of mine who is in his mid 30's is going through this now. He has like 8 kids with 2 or 3 baby momma's and now that he is alone he realizes that he hates himself and that he was pretending to be somebody we wasn't with those women and that's why things never worked out. He is trying to learn how to love himself and it will be a long journey, but a magnificent one.
When you don't love yourself you supress within you who you really are. Once you start to love yourself who you really are will explode out of you and you will be amazed and fall in love with yourself even more. I can feel that energy in you that wants to be free from all the negativity and fears that are supressing it.
Be strong Gemma, believe in yourself, know that I(we) believe in you and you will overcome all of this. Heal yourself with love.
Be Blessed and feel free to contact me if you would ever like to talk privately.
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Post by gemma on Oct 26, 2005 16:15:36 GMT -5
My dear Arya: I try to find it, I really try! Even my other two friends told me that there must have been something which made me afraid of men. But there isn't anything so far I can remember.
Do you think (you and all the others) that I don't love myself? I love myself, of course. I never pretend to be another girl. I am what I am. I don't have problems with my body. I don't have problems neither with my mind nor with my soul. I know that I can be beautiful not only inside but outside as well.
Or perhaps not...
I don't know. When I was a teenage I had problems with hairy legs, etc... but that's over. Maybe I'm looking at myself through my mother's eyes. I try to be the best for my parents. And it hurts me so much that I can't be a best girl for my father. I wanna make him proud and I wanna have a job, and an own life so that he wouldn't worry about me.
Maybe I'm trying too hard to push myself? That can't be. I always feel that I could push myself even harder. That I am idle. I am afraid of having a job. I would like to hide myself in an orange-coloured, warm ball, like an embryo. Dead to the world. At least for a while!
I am afraid to sleep. I have nightmares. I am afraid to wake. I wanna sleep. Does that make any sense?
Evolution's_son: happiness? I would be happy if I had a job. This is always on my mind: [shadow=red,left,300]job, Job, JOB! Money, money, money! [/shadow]
At least, my parents take some care of me. My father recognized on Monday that I was not well. So he always comes to me, and hugs me and even my mother tries to help me. I wanna sleep, just sleep, or go outside, into the forest, with my dogs.
I don't care about it anymore.
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Post by evolutions_son on Oct 26, 2005 16:27:55 GMT -5
Do you want that for yourself or because it will make your father happy? IMO you need to let go of doing things for other people and just do Gemma. The nightmares are happening because you are living in fear. Why are you so afraid? What is that root fear? Is that you will somehow lose the love of your father? Are you afraid of being hurt by him like you were your mother so you put it onto other men...like the rape dream?
I just think you need to find that root fear and face it. Also you need to live for yourself and no one else. Maybe should tell your father that you are worried that he wont love you if don't do what you believe he expects of you. I don't know...just some thoughts I hope help lead you in the right direction.
Be Strong, Steve
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Post by gemma on Oct 26, 2005 16:55:43 GMT -5
I am sure he would never hurt me. I am afraid that I would hurt HIM.
You are right. I will tell him.
I don't think that the rape dreams are about men... it is the manifestation of something else as you already guess...
Either it is about the physical contact, or these means something... forceful. Maybe I force myself and so it comes back to me in my dreams?
I only wanna have a job to make my father happy. So he wouldn't worry about me. I don't wanna work because I am afraid of it... that I would make something stupidity and I am afraid of people.
Yes, I would need some money to visit my chat-friends, but I don't need any fancy things. I just wanna see my father happy. He loves me so deeply and my heart weeps when I see him tired and sorrowful. He always supports me. He even wanted to give me money in every month, but I told him not to do so. I was full of shame and I didn't wanna have his money. To feel as if I were at his mercy. But I never told him that. So instead of it I told him that I'm sure that I'll get a job, so it isn't necessary to give me any money.
I love him and he loves me. I simply don't wanna see him hurt. Of course he tells me that he will support me as long as I would need it. But I wanna see him happy that his daughter has a whole, happy life.
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Post by cherise on Oct 26, 2005 22:04:01 GMT -5
Gemma,
Pusue your work with animals. They need you. Perhaps, this is the type of passion that will suppress your nightmares and help you walk the most healing road.
Do you ever hear their cries? Sometimes, I will take on their energy when they are at a great distance away. I hear their music. It's always divine, but carries different messages. You can gain employment by creating it. That's the job for you.
You are surrounded by animals that you love, and they love you. It's time to take on their energy.
Dog's Wisdom Includes:
* Heals emotional wounds in humans * Understanding of the duality of doubt and faith * Companionship * Unquestioned loyalty * Love * Knowledge of all things sensual * Protection * Ability of smell trouble from a distance
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Post by luz18 on Oct 27, 2005 13:31:22 GMT -5
Dear Gemma, I'm sorry you haven't had great experiences with other guys.. but let me tell you... if you look, you'll definately find. There is such thing as a great guy who can love you for who you are, and it is very much possible for you to be in a romantic relationship with a guy. These rape dreams that you're having.... do you think maybe they have to do with one of your past lives? It could explain your discomfort of being touched by a stranger other than your father. And concerning your mother, please don't be discouraged by your relationship with her! From what you've said I kind of get the impression that your self esteem stays low because of what she does and/or says to you. It seems to me that you do try, but you don't expect to succeed, because you don't have enough confidence. Don't look at yourself through your mother's eyes... look at yourself through your own eyes.... You have to believe that you'll do well for youself. Do you really think you're going to fail? Do you love yourself? Do you *truly* feel comfortable with yourself? Keep on doing what you love, because it's a great source of your happiness... and if you do something, do it because it makes you happy. It's only natural you're worried about your father's expectations, but if you always think of trying to please everyone else, what will happen is that everyone will be happy exept you, and it can't be like that either. You deserve to be happy too! ~Ichi
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Post by evolutions_son on Oct 27, 2005 15:32:18 GMT -5
Dear Gemma, I'm sorry you haven't had great experiences with other guys.. but let me tell you... if you look, you'll definately find. There is such thing as a great guy who can love you for who you are, and it is very much possible for you to be in a romantic relationship with a guy. As a self proclaimed great guy I have to second this. ;D I have to say that this is a great possibility as well. I was going to mention this in a previous post, but I wasn't sure what your take on that would be so I held it out. Past life regression may help a lot with this. 100% agree with all of that.
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Post by djgirlcherise on Oct 27, 2005 21:43:28 GMT -5
Hi Gemma,
I want to ask another couple questions, please.
What spiritual practices do you share at home, or with your friends? Are you allowed to openly express any spiritual beliefs?
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Post by gemma on Oct 28, 2005 5:24:02 GMT -5
Hi Gemma, I want to ask another couple questions, please. What spiritual practices do you share at home, or with your friends? Are you allowed to openly express any spiritual beliefs? Nothing at all. I don't have any friends, neither am I allowed to express any spiritual beliefs or experiences. My parents always think me insane. When I told them that I believed in ghosts they were literally scared and almost called a doctor. They are too rational. My father also had some experiences, so he believes me that I am experiencing strange things (although he thinks, this is only my imagination), but my mother is worse. She simply called me stupid and idiotic. So I never tell them anything. Every experience of mine is written in my blog. I get letters from readers, they tell me that they experience the same. So I know that I am not insane. I can feel the world on higher levels than my parents.
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Post by Shaelyn on Oct 28, 2005 12:31:29 GMT -5
...You would think, as such rational people as they are, that they might realize that there are some things out there we have not explained yet, some technologies that have not been invented to explain or detect these paranormal things. There IS a science to paranormal studies...a lot of people, it seems, fail to notice.
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