Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 8, 2007 7:37:48 GMT -5
Don't try to change her mind. It's her decision, and if she's not going to be with you, then she's not meant to be with you. I know it's hard, but you have to be respectful of her own choices. If you really still want her to go steady with you, make sure you're both comfortable with the decision. Do things with her as a friend, go to a movie with her, etc., and it might help change her mind, but again, don't force her into anything. It will only hurt your relationship. So if, even after you've made your efforts, she says no, simply accept her decision. Also, just because she doesn't want to go steady with you does not mean that she doesn't want to go on dates with you and she doesn't "have feelings" for you. Couldn't she still go on dates with you? And if her decision is based solely on the fact that it would be difficult to see one another, you could also offer to come to her (if it's not too far) or meet halfway, or you could agree on one/two days a week to do something fun together. And you could keep in contact when she's away through email, Instant Messaging, etc. Just a suggestion.
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prUuf
Remembering
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Post by prUuf on Jul 8, 2007 12:06:40 GMT -5
are you too needy? do you chase her? probably a good mind set would be that you choose what girls you want to go out with. see yourself as the radiating central sun where all the girls orbiting in and are attracted to you.. but let some space between you and them, like "one step back, and then two steps forth". even I do not recommend to use techniques or other manipulative self-made persona rather be the real attractive, irresistble YOU, you can learn a lot about your "inner game", your attitudes, thinking process in the pick up artist community relating to DATING girls. www.stylelife.com/www.bristollair.com/inner-game.htmlwww.enlightenedseduction.com/articles.htmwww.charismaarts.com/I never did go out with a girl to a movie.....hmmm...boring? practice sending love to people, send her love, that connects. <3M
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Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 8, 2007 13:03:14 GMT -5
Nice suggestions, Matthias! I haven't gone out on a date with anyone yet, so I wouldn't know very much. Just thought I'd offer my two cents...LOL.
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Jul 8, 2007 14:36:35 GMT -5
Perhaps, now is not the time??
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Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 8, 2007 14:36:53 GMT -5
So she does want to go out with you. If she's trying her best, there's nothing more you can ask for, right? EDIT: Good thought, Kiva! Sometimes it is better just to let things happen and, as my mom says, go with the flow. Good luck!
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Post by radaeron on Jul 8, 2007 15:51:50 GMT -5
Indeed, my suggestion would be similar to Kiva.. maybe more blunt XD Stop falling in love with her
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Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 8, 2007 17:06:37 GMT -5
I wish you luck, ssyn!
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Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 8, 2007 21:20:57 GMT -5
LOL. I am no expert, but maybe you should ask her what she meant?
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Jul 9, 2007 9:05:25 GMT -5
Perhaps she knows she loves you but isn't sure in what way, and needs some space to figure it out?
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prUuf
Remembering
Posts: 229
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Post by prUuf on Jul 9, 2007 13:58:58 GMT -5
then lead her out of the land of confusion ^^
never see you as less value. be equal. see high value in yourself and others.
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ssyn
Remembering
Posts: 114
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Post by ssyn on Jul 9, 2007 14:28:42 GMT -5
How? I don't want to make her decisions for her..
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prUuf
Remembering
Posts: 229
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Post by prUuf on Jul 9, 2007 14:32:19 GMT -5
sure you cannot make decisions for her.
but you can be sb she desires by being yourself. I think you simply need some knowledge. I sent you some stuff with private message.
attraction isn't a choice. it's an powerful emotion.
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Jul 10, 2007 9:40:18 GMT -5
the problem is from what I can gather is that she doesn't know if she wants ssyn as a boyfriend as he is himself. It's up to HER to get out of her own confusion. The only thing ssyn can do is be himself and let her decide for herself whether she loves him as a girlfriend or not.
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prUuf
Remembering
Posts: 229
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Post by prUuf on Jul 10, 2007 9:55:27 GMT -5
from my experience girls FEEL ATTRACTION or they FEEL NO ATTRACTION. and no in between. there are traits that are more or less attractive and that is where one can work on himself. it is about 50% body language, 40 %voice and only 10% words what makes communication between human beings. ok this are university studies and do not imply telepathy or else
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ssyn
Remembering
Posts: 114
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Post by ssyn on Jul 10, 2007 14:16:28 GMT -5
Wow.. Well, she did kiss me and all me So I can only assume she <b>is</b> attracted to
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Post by Kivawolfspeaker on Jul 10, 2007 15:04:59 GMT -5
Pruuf,
Are you saying that you can't LOVE friends??? There are DIFFERENT KINDS OF ACTTRATION AND LOVE FOR THAT MATTER!!!!! IT'S NOT ALL "I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BECAUSE I'M ACTTRATED TO YOU SEXUALLY ACTRATION!" I certainly don't want to have sex with everyone I'm acttrated to, because the acttration I feel to certain individuals isn't sexual.
It sounds to me like this girls needs time and space to figure all this out before she wants to be a relationship with ssyn in a gf/bf way. I say let her have that. I know it's frustrating for you ssyn, but it sounds like that's the best way to deal with this.
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prUuf
Remembering
Posts: 229
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Post by prUuf on Jul 10, 2007 16:26:17 GMT -5
I say love all beings you said it all.
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ssyn
Remembering
Posts: 114
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Post by ssyn on Jul 10, 2007 17:14:34 GMT -5
Fair enough, Kiva. Should I not talk to her when she get's back or just act casual?
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Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 10, 2007 17:28:14 GMT -5
Ssyn, if I were you, I'd just act casual. Don't ignore her, that would pose the risk of your relationship being hurt. Just act as you would normally, as friends, not boyfriend/girlfriend.
LOL, again, I'm no expert at this, I'm just suggesting...
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Post by jeremy on Jul 10, 2007 23:03:48 GMT -5
no don't ignore her! that would be really hurtful! If you like you can try to be casual. It seems like she already knows clearly how you feel about her and she's ok with that. Just be nice to her and don't push anything too far.
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Kitty
Remembering
Posts: 260
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Post by Kitty on Jul 27, 2007 7:22:18 GMT -5
Good luck.
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