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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Aug 22, 2005 13:51:54 GMT -5
I have a friend online who is 29 and has a learning disability. We are very close even though we've never met in person and I've only known her about a month, I feel as though we've always been friends and we know each other so well; I know for a fact that we were companions on the other side just as I can almost remember some of you.
She is most definitely rainbow or at least very close to it and she is so wonderful, literally the nicest person I've ever met and one of my best friends even though our age gap is so great. I often find that the nicest people I meet here on Earth have some form of a disability. I don't have a disability that I know of, or at least not something that I'd be ridiculed for publicly, but most of my friends do have something "wrong" with them. Most of my life people have always asked me why I like "those types" and it's because people who are disabled are frankly some of the most humble, optimistic people in existence.
I was just wondering if anyone here has a remarkable friend who just happens to have a disability?
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Post by indigophoenix on Aug 23, 2005 4:55:46 GMT -5
I don't believe I personally know anyone with any disablities, but I suffer from panic disorder. Panic disorder triggers random panic attacks. Anyone can have a panic attack, but those with panic disorder are prone to having them anytime. For those of you who aren't familiar with panic disorder here is a definition for ya from apa.org (American Psychological Association):
Panic Attacks: The Hallmark of Panic Disorder
A panic attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming fear that comes without warning and without any obvious reason. It is far more intense than the feeling of being 'stressed out' that most people experience. Symptoms of a panic attack include:
racing heartbeat difficulty breathing, feeling as though you 'can't get enough air' terror that is almost paralyzing dizziness, lightheadedness or nausea trembling, sweating, shaking choking, chest pains hot flashes, or sudden chills tingling in fingers or toes ('pins and needles') fear that you're going to go crazy or are about to die
You probably recognize this as the classic 'flight or fight' response that human beings experience when we are in a situation of danger. But during a panic attack, these symptoms seem to rise from out of nowhere. They occur in seemingly harmless situations--they can even happen while you are asleep.
In addition to the above symptoms, a panic attack is marked by the following conditions:
it occurs suddenly, without any warning and without any way to stop it. the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation; often, in fact, it's completely unrelated. it passes in a few minutes; the body cannot sustain the 'fight or flight' response for longer than that. However, repeated attacks can continue to recur for hours.
This is how it's defined in a medical journal, but the best way for me to personally describe a panic attack is that it feels like reality becomes twisted and unnatural. I lose awareness of everything except my thoughts, all I can feel is the need to "get out" of reality. And an overwhelming fear of something, although I have no clue what that something is. It's just pure fear. Time bends and stretches so much that a 30 second panic attack to me feels like it lasted an hour. My longest panic attack lasted over 30 minutes. My most intense one lasted probably a couple minutes but when it started I was in one room of my house and when it ended I was in a totally different room. I had no recollection of what happened during that time, other than the thoughts that were going through my head. I would describe it better if I could but words just can't do that. The only way to truly understand it would be to experience one. (And I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy.)
But I (as well as Laurel who also has this) have overcome this disease without medication, which is the typical treatment. It has now been several years since my last panic attack.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Aug 23, 2005 12:05:28 GMT -5
Wow, Pheonix! That's awesome that you're recovering! Reading about panic attacks sounds horrible to me, my entire life I've been very balanced and calm in my moods... except at times random bouts of paranoia and fear but I finally figured out this was because I was sensing my spirit guides in the house with me and my mind was turning it into serial killers and rapists, heh. I mean, when you're in the house by yourself at night and suddenly you feel like you're not alone, it can get kinda freaky.
Not like a panic attack though, I'm so glad I don't have those. It actually sounds like your soul really doesn't like being in the body and randomly gets urges to fight its way out or something. Or maybe it's something from a past life - I've read in several sources that past life trauma that isn't dealt with can come to haunt you during this life. Many hypnotists have dealt with this. Maybe you died in a very frightening situation and your soul occasionally relives parts of it?
How do you overcome it? By meditation?
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Post by Uriah on Aug 23, 2005 12:41:49 GMT -5
Indigo Phoenix,
I know what your talking about, not personally, but a little girl I know has panic disorder. I was around once when it happened. She looked so lost and afraid and their was nothing anyone could do to help her until it was just ... over. She isn't medicated for but her mom also had it when she was younger and I think she may have been medicated for it. It's terrible to have and am glad you haven't experienced it lately.
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Post by indigophoenix on Aug 25, 2005 4:01:04 GMT -5
How do you overcome it? By meditation? I have learned to overcome panic attacks by learning about them and just plain experiencing them. Over time I've learned to gain a certain amount of control while a panic attack is occuring. The most important thing though, was accepting that it is a part of me. I have to be glad that I have it because without it, I wouldn't be the same person.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Aug 25, 2005 4:03:24 GMT -5
That's so very wise and intelligent what you did, I still have so much trouble embracing parts of myself. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever truly be able to accept everything.
I'm happy for you. =)
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Post by indigophoenix on Aug 25, 2005 4:17:24 GMT -5
Oh I'm sure you will! Everything that happens to us, good or bad, molds us into who we are. Everything is a learning experience and wisdom can be gained from any situation. We don't have to faithfully love our shortcomings, but accepting them is key.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Aug 25, 2005 4:22:10 GMT -5
I think one of my greatest shortcomings right now is self doubt... I feel like I'd have such an easier time expanding my awareness if I could just let go, but it's sooo hard... I'm shocked that you could astral project as soon as you did, it seems so beyond me!
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Aug 29, 2005 0:04:48 GMT -5
I didn't know you could hear music, Aria! That's amazing, maybe I'm mistaking though - are you fully deaf or just partially? Still, I'm very very happy for you, music would be such a thing to miss in this world! And don't worry about understanding the lyrics, most aren't worth listening to anyway, lol. I honestly wish that most of the music I heard didn't have lyrics to it.
How did you become deaf? Was it in an accident or were you born that way? I'm sorry if you explained this in another post, I guess I missed it. I've read that advanced souls usually choose to live with a disability - so I think you're completely right when you say that at times being deaf helps you. I think it would help everyone to lose their hearing for a week and see how they take it - just as you can't imagine life very well with the ability to hear, I can't imagine it without that ability. I sometimes wish I could, because I'm sure you utilize senses that go unnoticed by me and view the world through a completely different perspective. I envy your experience! ^_^
It makes me smile to know that you've found peace with your disability - I still haven't found full peace with myself, and I don't have any disabilities that I know of. I actually think your deafness has helped you much more than my hearing has helped me. =)
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Post by Arya on Aug 29, 2005 9:16:01 GMT -5
Oh, CM, you're bursting with questions! Don't worry, I love to answer to questions about my deafness, because I know that it is almost unknown to most people. I like to explain how I see and hear the world.
To answer to your questions, I am born deaf because of a virus I got during the 2 last weeks before my birth. I am lucky that I am not more disabled than that, I could have been blind or mentally retarded or whatever worse than deafness. I am fully deaf, but I do have a cochlear implant since age 8, so I can hear sounds. However it is not the same thing as you hear. Since cochlear implants imitate the human ear, it can't achieve the same quality of sounds as you have. I see here the beauty and complexity of life... It can't even be imitated!
Being fully deaf is very normal to me, since I grew up with that silence. Still, I could describe the silence I have as this one you "hear" when you are underwater, without the heartbeat, without any sounds, and try to imagine that silence everywhere, when a dog barks, when a car passes, when you see someone talking. Sounds crazy to you, eh? Well that silence is as normal as it is for you to hear. I am in that silence only when I remove the external part of my cochlear implant.
Even if I am in the silence, I can still "hear" something. Yup, I am more aware of the vibrations generated by sounds. The percussions are easily felt by me, but I can also feel guitar, bass, violin, especially if I touch and if the sounds are quite strong (but still I prefer to listen to them with my implant ^_^). The vibrations of moving a chair, the wind of a car passing near me, the wind itself, the sun's heat, the roughness of surfaces I touch -- everything related to touch, in my case, is magnified. Oh, an anecdote : I was learning to drive manual cars, and I found that it was easier to drive them when I don't hear, surely because I am more aware of the car's vibrations.
It is only a glimpse of what I experience, but I hope that my description will give a good idea of that!
Don't be afraid to come up with other questions, but please put them in the other thread "My deafness" in order to put that in the proper topic ^_^ I'll copy and paste a part of what I wrote here...
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Post by Arya on Aug 29, 2005 13:36:41 GMT -5
Before beginning I have to say to you, CM, I want to thank you for you kindness and you interest towards me ^_^ It makes me smile to know that you've found peace with your disability - I still haven't found full peace with myself, and I don't have any disabilities that I know of. I actually think your deafness has helped you much more than my hearing has helped me. =) I was thinking of what you wrote in that quote, and I was thinking that it wasn't only my deafness who helped me to attain that peace, it is also the caring, accepting and loving family I have. They always accepted me with my deafness, they saw me as a whole person, not only a deaf person. They saw the humanity in me. It is especially my mother who helped me to develop everything I have now because she trusted in me, she knew that I was as normal as anyone would be, with only a deafness. She never considered that I was mentally retarded because of my deafness, this must saved me, cause she saw me the way I needed to be seen : a normal person with strengths and weaknesses. I am talking mostly of my mother because she raised me most of the time in my childhood after my parent's divorce. Sure, deafness creates more obstacles I have to overcome in order to be happy, but still, if I didn't have a family -- and a mom -- I wouldn't believe in myself that strongly as she believed in me. She didn't put any limits to what I wanted to do, even if she knew it would be difficult for me. I know many deaf ppl who don't accept fully their deafness, and I am sad about this because they react with anger, resentment, and they don't have any ambition in life because nobody believed in them and in their abilities. Many fall into drugs, alcohol, sex or in depression. Well, I do hope that these souls really learn from these difficult lives.
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Post by Uriah on Aug 29, 2005 20:35:45 GMT -5
Arya, you seem so strong and confidnent in yourself. I admire that so much. I feel I have much to learn from you.
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Post by Arya on Aug 29, 2005 22:30:53 GMT -5
Oh thanks Uriah for your admiration!
You know, I am learning from everyone here too... ^_^
I also have a motto : What you admire in others is already in yourself... I say that because if you don't already have it (at least in the potential state), it is harder to recognize it in other people.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Aug 30, 2005 12:20:05 GMT -5
Aria, I will continue on the other thread, but I think your mother was an amazing person. They say that indigos choose their parents, and it sounds like if you were to choose anyone, you would have wanted that person to be like her. I'm so glad that she was able to raise you - I've met disabled people who are also uncomfortable with themselves, but I can feel that you think of yourself as being just as good as anyone else and not as someone who's deaf. It's amazing how much perspective can change the world. ^_^
Love and light.
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hiddenrelevance
Still Sleeping
I see the stars and remember to see.
Posts: 8
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Post by hiddenrelevance on Sept 15, 2005 14:28:18 GMT -5
Actually resa, you know the friend I'm going to talk about. My chica (who is definitely at least an Indigo now that I think about it) suffers from Tricotylamania (sp?). Basically it's an OC?anxiety dissorder where she pulls out her hair- in her case her eyebrows and eyelashes. I've known her so long that's I can tell how her day/week/month has been going by how far they've actually been growing it. It's so cool right now because she's doing amazing. She's living in a new dorm, has a new job, is losing weight, and just feels better about herself and I could tell before she ever talked about it simply because her eyebrows have grown in almost completely and I feel so happy for her.
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Post by jeremy on Sept 21, 2005 10:40:37 GMT -5
I guess I could have posted to this thread a long time ago. My older sister is severely autistic. I can't really describe what that means, it's one of those things you have to meet someone to understand. Because of this, it was easy for me to get a job as an assistant at a special school one time when I was out of work. That was the most rewarding job I've ever done. Some of the kids there were disabled to the point where it's impossible to tell if they even know you're there, and yet I loved helping them. I miss them and that job so much.
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Post by thecrystalmaiden on Sept 21, 2005 12:13:09 GMT -5
I've heard of autism and of TTM, and I had no idea that you guys both knew people like that! You must be exposed to some very wonderful souls. There is a child in my kung fu class with only one arm, and every day I see him I just swell with joy and pride to think that he's right there next to everyone, doing the forms and practicing just as hard as anyone else, even harder than a lot of the kids his age (he's only... 7? But he seems so much older!). I always try to practice next to him because he inspires me to try my hardest, because he's there with such a huge disability in the kung fu world and doing better than more than half the class.
My kung fu teacher himself is incredible - definitely a rainbow, he's SOOOO filled with love and caring for everyone, yet there is a power and strength that he wears about him like a cloak that you can feel when he enters the room. He is my rolemodel, he's so confident in himself yet at the same time comes off as so humble and genuine. I feel blessed to have found his school.
^_^
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Post by Uriah on Oct 4, 2005 19:21:59 GMT -5
I had completely forgot that I know someone with a major disability. However, I don't even view it as such. CM, you mentioned that young boy that has one arm and it made me remember I know someone that was born with no arms. The most incredible thing is he can do absolutely everything that a person with two arms can do.
When I first met him I felt almost sorry for him and thought he must be carrying a heavy burden and his life must be hard. That all changed very quickly when he started kicking my butt in video games. There is nothing he can't do. He can drive a car (has a full liscence), even a manual. He does everything with his feet and what we call his nubs. A very small portion of his upper arm but not much. Nubs is a nickname he gives himself so it is not derogatory when it is used.
He gets along just fine and I admire him for all his strength and humor. My favorite line of his which I will quote: " Look, no hands!" He's a great soul.
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